


Collapse

by asimplenightmare



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Anorexia, Anxiety, Bulimia, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, because we don't have enough of these
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-29 21:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 36,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11449764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asimplenightmare/pseuds/asimplenightmare
Summary: High school has a funny way of changing people. Or maybe the problems people shake off come back and haunt their every dream.Jack has always been a little on the heavy side, and is determined to change that. Geoff liked stealing from his parents’ liquor cabinet, but he finds someone else to supply his need. Ryan is personified as the “Mad King”, but nobody really thought his sanity was diminishing. Gavin was more than happy when he found out Michael liked him. He does tend to do dumb things though. Ray always made jokes about hating himself. Too bad everyone assumes it’s nothing serious. Michael found happiness for once in his life. But his life is constantly crumbling around him.These six were once inseparable. Life decided to change that, and made sure each and every one of them were exposed to the harsh realities that either make or break the person who cares a little too much.





	1. Chapter 1

“Bye Mom!” Michael called as he ran out of the house. Today was the first day of sophomore year. And Michael couldn't be happier to get out of the God forsaken hell hole the government called a stable environment. 

Sure, he was glad his mother was moving on after his dad. That didn't mean she had to get with some overprotective prune who was trying to “fix” his soon-to-be step-son. 

His mom wouldn't have cared about him and Gavin. But she takes everything this fucker says to heart. Michael needs to eat healthy. Michael needs to play less video games. Michael needs better friends.

Sometimes he wish he could just pack up and leave. But a part of him knows he'd miss his mom.

That's just how life goes, right?

 

Meanwhile, Jack was stood in front of a mirror hung on the back of his door, shirtless. He sighed, poking at his stomach as he silently wished it would go away. 

His summer had consisted of gym visits, meal planning, and disapproving looks from his father. It wasn't Jack’s fault he ate a little too much when he was younger. Nobody else seemed to have a problem with him anyway.

Now with his mom working a lot to keep the finances up, Jack has had plenty of alone time with his father. He wants Jack to build muscle, be fit. Not be some pot belly drunk like Geoff. Though, Jack’s father didn't know of Geoff’s drinking habits. He could only imagine his dad saying that if he did.

He had a loving girlfriend who was completely fine with the way he looks, so why did his father have a problem if he already had a girl?

He pulled on a t-shirt, knowing if he stared too long he'd hate himself a little more than he hated his dad.

 

Gavin was delighted to see Michael again. The two had admitted feelings shortly before school let out. Unfortunately, Gavin was whisked away to England for the entire summer, away from the “bad influences” his parents disliked so much. 

Gavin was surprised when Michael revealed his feelings. The pair made the last two weeks of freshman year memorable with their affection. Their friends were happy they finally got around to it.

He just wished everyone else could be as happy as they were. Jack and Geoff had each other, but the two seriously needed to consider developing a relationship with someone. Personally Gavin thought of Geoff as a father figure, despite his recklessness. Geoff had always known what was best for the Brit. 

It surprised him a little when everyone was okay with him and Michael. But then Ray and Ryan both admitted they weren't all straight and everyone was okay with everything. 

He smiled when he saw the minecraft necklace around his neck. This was going to be a great year.

 

Ryan grinned, looking at famous Tower of Pimps sitting on his desk. He had won the most recent game Geoff and Gavin made for them, and was still crowned king until they decided they wanted to do whatever Ryan told them to.

They're going to get annoyed with you eventually. Don't you think? You're always blabbering on about things nobody cares about and-

Ryan hasn't exactly had great thoughts in a while. But he was probably just beating himself up because he was too scared to ask out his crush, yet again. 

“Honey! You're gonna be late for school!”

Ryan sighed and grabbed his things.

He was just a little sad is all.

 

Waking up with a hangover on the first day of school is not something pleasant. Unfortunately for Geoff, that meant he wouldn't have any drinks for tonight when his friends came to his house for a fire.

His parents were almost never home and Geoff didn't mind one bit. That just meant more parties and more fun. Someone was always eager to do a beer run for him as long as Geoff was paying.

But Geoff’s house was only so big, and he could only steal so much from his parents without them questioning it. Only problem was his craving for a drink, which nobody wanted to get him if they were at a different party.

He just missed the company, not the drinks. He had to convince himself that.

 

Ray wasn't eager to return to school. But it would be nice to hang out with everyone again. Everyone had a busy summer, Ray understood that. He always felt lonely anyway, so it wasn't anything new.

With the loneliness came destructiveness. He would go out of town to find a party full of people to keep him company. Or go to the playground alone, finding something to occupy him. He never meant for it to become a habit, but he started and just couldn't stop. It hasn't helped with anything though.

Maybe this year he'd be brave enough to ask out a certain someone who plagued his mind constantly. Or just pretend like everything was alright, just like always.

He could get through this year without feeling too alone and kick the habits.

 

“Micool!” Gavin practically pounced on his (boy?)friend when he first spotted him. 

“Gavin for fucks sake this backpack is new.” Michael smiled and embraced the Brit. “But goddamn did I miss you.”

“I haven't even been here five minutes and you two are already glued at the hip.” Ray smirked, opening his locker next to Michael’s.

“Someone is just jealous.” The curly haired boy chuckled.

Ray blushed and hid his face in his locker. Of course he told Michael about his crush. But it was only a matter of time before Michael told Gavin and his big British mouth would tell the whole state of Texas.

“Aw, dicks. You guys are the whole way down here?” Geoff huffed as he made his way towards the lads. “At least I have Jack near me. Anyone see Ryan?”

The three shook their heads just as the missing gent made his way down the hall. “I'm down by Sorola’s. Anybody down there?”

They all shook their heads. “These three are here and Jack and I are at the main entrance.”

Ray offered a sad smile. “Our lockers might not be close but at least we have lunch together!”

The five agreed, not even questioning why Jack never found his way to them.

He was in the boy’s bathroom, wondering how the hell he was supposed to stick to his diet when all this school served was grease. Maybe his dad could file a complaint and get healthier options. 

Or maybe Jack could take matters into his own hands for once in his life.

 

Ray and Michael had first period together, which was nice considering it was English and their teacher loved shitty puns. No wonder Barbra loved him.

Speaking of the female, she was excited when she saw the two lads walk in. “This class just got ten times better!” 

Michael and Ray sat next to her. “Yeah, can't wait to hear you make these terrible jokes at lunch later.” Michael smirked.

She just rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the front, where class was beginning.

 

Jack and Ryan got to start off their mornings with some honors algebra II. It was a good thing they were both smart because this early of a class would be the death of them. 

Of course they would always help their friends whenever it got too much. Sadly they tended to sacrifice more time than they wanted to help. They would always manage to get straight A’s though, no sweat. 

“You think everyone is gonna be okay tonight at Geoff’s? We haven't exactly seem much of each other over the summer.”

“I'm sure we’ll talk about things and then end up wrestling or watching a movie.” Jack shrugged. “No matter what happens, we’ll always be friends, right?”

“Right.” Ryan assured himself, looking down to his lap.

Gavin and Geoff had nothing other than electives though, making for an easy start to their morning. Gavin was a bit disappointed his video production class was in the afternoon.

Geoff did have an honors English class next though, but he didn't care. He was in high spirits when a pretty blonde girl sat next to him in art class.

Though, after third period, Ray found himself walking to his next class alone. That's when a familiar voice rang in behind him.

“Holy shit! Is that you, Ray?”

 

_The party was in full swing when Ray arrived. It was perfect, just enough noise and people to distract Ray for awhile._

__

_He sat on the couch and started playing his DS when a girl with silver hair sat next to him. “Hi.” She said shyly._

__

__

__

_Ray nodded, not really wanting to get involved. He could smell the alcohol on her breath and knew she wasn't in the right set of mind._

____

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_That's when she pouted. “You look like you're not having fun. You should come outside by the fire.”_

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_‘Well, at least we wouldn't be alone’ Ray thought to himself, pocketing his DS and following the girl._

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_There was a group of people sitting around a fire, laughing and looking so happy. The girl sat down and so did Ray, the others giving them a small nod before returning to their own conversations._

_______ _ _ _

__

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_“Stop being so worked up.” The girl laughed. “Here, try this.”_

________ _ _ _ _

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________ _ _ _ _

_A blunt was being thrust into Ray’s hands and before he knew it he was higher than the Empire State Building._

__

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_He was laughing, dancing, even did a few shots. The girl from earlier had dragged him upstairs, the two with their lips locked and hands all over each other._

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________ _ _ _ _

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_She lead him to a room and locked the door behind her. Ray wasn't thinking straight and lost his virginity to a girl he didn't even know. Not to mention he was only 15, too._

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__

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_He woke up with a pounding headache and a heart full of regret. He left as soon as he was able to gather his clothes and thoughts, not even leaving a note for the girl._

_____ _

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_____ _

Slowly, Ray turned to face the female. “Excuse me?”

_____ _

________ _ _ _ _

_____ _

She smiled and made her way to him. “We met at a party this summer, you probably don't remember me. You were pretty wasted.”

_____ _

________ _ _ _ _

_____ _

That's when a voice Ray loved to hear piped in. “You must be confusing him with someone else. Ray doesn't drink.”

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The girl shrugged and walked away, leaving a dumbfounded Ray and a bored looking Ryan. “Th-thanks. She must be crazy.” Ray laughed shakily.

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Ryan just smiled and went on his way.

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The boys were all excited to get the hell out of fifth period to eat lunch together. They trickled in slowly, Barbara, Caiti, and Lindsay joining them as well.

_____ _

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“Did you guys see the new British kid? I wonder if Gavin knows him.” Barbara giggled.

_____ _

_____ _

“Sod off. England’s too big for us to all know each other.”

_____ _

________ _ _ _ _

_____ _

“You never know.” Caiti smiled. “Haven't you ever heard the phrase, ‘it's a small world’?”

_____ _

________ _ _ _ _

_____ _

Gavin just rolled his eyes with a bright smile upon his face.

_____ _

________ _ _ _ _

_____ _

They joked and laughed, telling each other how shitty the schedules are and which teachers are the worst. Michael and Gavin held hands under the table and Geoff kept eyeing a blonde at another table, and Jack and Lindsay picked at their food as Barbara distracted everyone with a joke and Caiti was squeezing Jack’s knee, while Ray and Ryan would steal glances at one another but are too scared to say a thing.

_____ _

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_____ _

Looks like sophomore year was off to a pretty okay start.

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That is until Gavin nearly tripped over himself at the sight of the new British kid. 

_____ _

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“Gav, what the fuck?” Michael questioned as they walked into class.

_____ _

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“Nothing boi! Must've tripped.”

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Michael arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything, the two taking their seats. Gavin kept looking at the new boy, wondering silently what he was like. After all, he was in charge of the camera for the news team. Michael kept glancing at Gavin, but gave up when he realized he wasn't paying attention. Michael clenched his fists in his lap. This wasn't going well.

_____ _

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Geoff was blessed to have home economics with the pretty blonde girl he couldn't get out of his head. She even sat at the table he, Jack, and Caiti were at.

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_____ _

Caiti introduced herself immediately. “It's nice to meet you! How's your day been going so far?”

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The blonde laughed. “I'm Griffon, and it's been well. Though, some people in this school do seem to have a staring problem.”

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Geoff looked away, to Jack. He just shrugged and mouthed, “Your problem now.”

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Geoff grumbled and sat back in his chair, a pain in his head starting to form.

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The girls began talking and knew they'd be friends. Jack smiled at the sight, happy that the new girl was welcomed so soon. 

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Ray and Ryan were not only in the same Spanish class, but they were partners. Ray inwardly groaned at the news, and Ryan offered a sheepish smile.

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Their teacher made them start by practicing the previous flashcards they made last year. Ray didn't bring his, luckily Ryan did.

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“Are you coming to Geoff’s tonight?” Ryan asked, flipping a card to pretend they were studying.

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“Hell yeah, tradition man. Plus he'd probably hunt me down and kick my ass if I didn't show up.” Ray chuckled. “I have to walk home anyway so I might just go there first.”

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Ryan nodded. “I have to go home and put all my school crap in a safe place, knowing you guys it'll get thrown in the fire.”

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“C’mon, that was one time!” Ray laughed, earning a stern look from the teacher. “Fuck,” he mumbled, causing Ryan to chuckle.

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“We better get to practicing, I don't think you got a single one right.”

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Ray sighed, knowing he was right. He always was.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this first chapter! Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

“No rents?” Gavin questioned as he entered the house, squeezing Michael’s hand.

“Nope.” Geoff grinned, trying to ignore the pain in his head. God I could use a drink…

The three made their way to Geoff’s backyard where Ray was already engaged in an intense game on his 3ds. “Fucking animals hiding behind trees,” he muttered.

“What are you playing dude?” Michael took a seat next to him. 

Ray scrambled to put his DS away. “Nothing! Just some stupid game my mom accidentally bought.”

“...Riiight.” Gavin laughed, laying back in the grass.

Ryan showed up and took a seat on the other side of Ray, smiling at the sight of the boy. He looks embarrassed. Probably because you had to sit right next to him. You're probably creeping him out.

Ryan shook his head, but still scooted just a tad away because the thoughts would keep pestering him until he caved.

“Rye-bread, I'm totally gonna dethrone your ass.” Gavin smirked. 

“As if.” He scoffed. “No one shall ever take my kingdom away from Edgar and I!”

“How can Edgar run a kingdom if he's in a hole?” Ray snickered

Ryan jabbed Ray’s side. “Don't question the king.” 

“Ow ow okay.” He rubbed his side, but with a playful smirk.

Jack entered the backyard with Geoff. 

“Alright, time to light this bitch!” Geoff cried, throwing a match into the firepit. 

The six sat around the fire and shared stories from their summer. They all pretty much lied anyway.

“You jerks know what I did. Stay inside and play video games.” Ray sneered.

“Worked out and went to the beach with my family.” Jack’s smile was almost convincing.

“Threw a couple parties, which barely any of you showed up to anyway.” Geoff laughed.

“I did the normal nerd things you guys wouldn't understand.” Ryan smirked.

Of course, Michael was the only honest one. “Tried to get fixed by step-prick and my mom. She will do anything he says.”

The others shifted uncomfortably. They didn't expect someone to actually be honest.

Gavin changed the subject quickly. “England was bloody top! But I did miss my little Micoo.” Gavin smiled. “It was nice to see the family again, but I know my home is always here in the states.”

_“Gavin, sweetie, you're just confused.”_

_“I am not! I love him!”_

_“What did we do wrong? It's not right for a man to love another man like this…”_

_“It's not wrong, Mom. It's who I am and I want you to accept me.”_

_And that's when a hand came crashing onto his cheek._

_Gavin backed up, fuming. “For God sakes, how can you be preaching to me about what's right and wrong, when your own bloody husband is out getting absolutely sloshed as we speak!”_

_His mother was taken aback. “How dare you talk about your father that way! He provides a home for you, puts food on the table-”_

“ _He doesn't do shite when I'm in the states! You ship your problem child off to live with your bloody sister who escaped the wrath of her parents while you stay here and worship the ground they walk on!”_

_“Gavin David Free you will take that back right now!”_

_“Sod off Mom, I'm going to my room and staying for the rest of this summer!”_

_And with that, he stormed up the stairs._

Gavin winced at the memory, causing a look of concern to erupt from Geoff’s face. “Sorry. Just burped and got a taste of those onion rings from lunch.”

Ray made a look of disgust, waving his stick around. “Are we roasting marshmallows or what?”

Geoff tossed him the supplies and they began to make their s'mores. All except Jack.

“Cmon, just have one!”

“If I have one I'll want more. I have to stick to my diet.” Jack rubbed his temples, his stomach growling too low for the others to here. He could've had a s’more, it would fit in his diet considering he didn't eat a single thing today. To be honest, Jack just didn't feel like eating. Not even the low grumble in the pit of his stomach was motivation.

Ray was laughing along with the rest of the group, happy for them to be together again. He hasn't laughed like this in a long time. He even playfully flirted with Ryan, just because he was so happy.

Ryan returned the affection, attempting to ignore the thoughts in the back of his mind. Finally he was getting somewhere with Ray.

Michael was able to lose himself in the moment. Being with Gavin, holding his hand, the world was feeling right. And he didn't have to go home tonight, which was a big plus.

Geoff was managing. It's been awhile since he hasn't ended his night with alcohol coursing through his veins. 

But in this moment, he didn't care. Everyone was happy and enjoying just themselves. No girls, no parents, no worries. 

They found themselves heading in to watch a movie. Which of course, nobody really payed attention to. 

“We should do something this weekend. And I don't mean just the Saturday night traditions.” Geoff was bouncing in his seat.

“Let’s go mini golfing! I've been practicing.” Ray grinned.

“Yeah that sounds like fun until Michael blocks all my shots.” Gavin pouted, earning a flick from the curly haired boy.

“No, no sabotaging! I just wanna hang with you guys again, it's been way too fucking long.” Geoff smiled sadly. “I missed you guys.”

Gavin laughed. “Geoff’s going soft on us!”

“Am not!”

“Dog pile on Geoff!”

“Don't you fucking dare!”

The three boys jumped on him while Ryan and Jack laughed quietly at the sight, happy they weren't at the bottom. 

“Should we be setting up the beds now?”

Michael looked at the clock. “Oh shit it is almost midnight. We do have school tomorrow.”

So Michael, Gavin, and Ray made a bed on the floor and Geoff slept on the loveseat, Jack taking the couch and Ryan blowing up an air mattress at the feet of the lads. 

 

Ray woke up in the middle of the night, not really knowing why. He decided to get a little fresh air by walking onto Geoff’s back porch, looking at the fire they were at just a short time ago. 

He sighed heavily, leaning on the railing. In the back of his mind he knew what he needed was at home in a box tucked away in his closet, but he couldn't just walk home now could he? 

His fingers had been absentmindedly running along the banister, he was bound to get a splinter eventually. He pulled it out with a wince and decided it was time he go back inside to sleep. Geoff would probably wake them up early anyway.

 

The next morning, Geoff woke up early to make breakfast for his friends. His parents were out for another week, leaving little food for him. Geoff managed to make two pancakes for everyone.

Jack was the first to wake up (after Geoff) and decided to wake all the others up anyway. It would take them at least an hour to get ready for school.

“I don't wanna.” Michael mumbled, rolling over on top of Gavin. 

“Michael get off.” Gavin went to shove him away, but pushed Ray instead.

“Gavin for fucks sake.” Ray groaned, sitting up.

“Jack don’t you dare touch me or you'll be with Edgar.” Ryan warned. 

“Breakfast is ready you assholes!”

Eventually, everyone woke up, got dressed, and ate breakfast. They all walked to school, shoving each other and flipping random cars off.

They forgot about their problems for a little while anyway.

School is a great place to escape your problems at home. But people are dumb and things escalate and suddenly nowhere feels quite right anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed <3


	3. Chapter 3

Ray found himself up shit’s creek without a paddle when he walked into third period. The girl from yesterday (and the party) was sitting in his seat. There was no way he would dare talk to her, so he made his way to the back of the room.

 

Right next to Trevor and Jeremy. The two ‘badasses’ of the school.

 

Ray put his head on his desk, already hearing the two snickering.

 

“Fucking fag.”

 

Ray tensed up, slowly lifting his head. The girl was directly in front of him, but staring Jeremy down. “Don't talk about him like that. There's nothing wrong with him being gay.”

 

Jeremy narrowed his eyes. He knew better than to test her. She was his girlfriend’s best friend after all.

 

She dipped down. “Sorry about him. He can be a real jerk sometimes. My name is Tina. Sorry I haven't told you before. You did leave pretty quick after all.” Ray gulped, not knowing if she was talking about the party. “You can have your seat back.”

 

Ray stood up and scrambled over to his seat, thanking his lucky stars the teacher walked in.

  


Now Ryan wasn't typically one to get jealous. But seeing Ray and that girl as he walked by made something inside him hurt. He quickly hurried to Chemistry, taking his seat next to Geoff.

 

“Fucking hell dude calm down.” Geoff looked to Gavin. “What's up with him?”

 

“How am I supposed to know?”

 

Ryan grumbled. “ _Ray.”_ He said, spitefully. “I get that he's bi, but I don't think he should be talking to a girl he barely knows.”

 

Geoff clapped him on the back. “Ask him out yourself then.”

 

Ryan growled, causing Gavin to chuckle. “You bloody idiots.”

  


Michael was not doing well as he sat with Ray and Jack in fifth period. He kept thinking about how Gavin looked at that new kid.

 

“What's gotten up your ass?” Ray whispered.

 

“Nothing.” Michael deadpanned.

 

“Ray, don't pressure him. I'd rather you two not get in trouble on the second day.” Jack pleaded.

 

The two lads sat back, unhappy, while Jack took the notes their teacher presented.

  


Lunch had finally rolled around and the rest of the group was met with an unfamiliar face.

 

“Guys, this is Griffon. She’ll be joining us for however long she likes!” Caiti exclaimed.

 

“Nice to meet you Griffon! I think you're in one of my afternoon classes…”

 

Whole the girls talked, Michael decided to get a little revenge on Gavin. He had borrowed Ray’s DS so both of his hands were occupied. Gavin didn't seem to notice though, instead striking up his own conversation with Griffon.

 

Geoff kept glancing at her, wanting to say something but knowing he'd fuck it up anyway. He inwardly groaned and ate the rest of his food.

 

Jack pushed his food around, thankful Caiti was accidentally stealing some of his fries every now and again.

 

Ray had to actually eat for once, rather than playing his DS because _someone_ had to borrow it. He would've tried to get in on the conversations, but he just wasn't feeling it today.

 

Ryan had noticed this, and tried to think of a way to talk to Ray about the girl. _It's no use, you know. He’ll blow you off no matter what you say because he hates you._ Ryan bit his lip. It was probably true.

  
  


After lunch, Barbara found her way to Jack in the hallway. “Is everything okay? You didn't seem to smile much at lunch and you pushed your food around.”

 

Jack panicked, not realizing someone had actually paid attention. “Oh, yeah I'm fine. Just had a lot on my mind.” He gave her a small smile before walking away to his next class.

 

“Can we talk?” Lindsay had walked up behind her.

 

“Sure. I just have video production next anyway.”

 

The girls went into the bathroom and stood in silence while Lindsay gathered her thoughts.

 

“There's this party on Saturday, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go?”

 

Barbara was a little surprised Lindsay of all people would go to a party. She just shrugged and smiled. “I'll go with you. Don't have any plans anyway.”

 

Lindsay smiled and hugged her. “Thanks Barbs!”

  


Video production was not going well.

 

“Alright now that the news team is set up, you can have a free period. I expected this to take longer so there's nothing else to do for today.”

 

Gavin had signed up to be on the news team, as an anchor. Michael was okay with that. He wasn't interested in being in the news club anyway.

 

But what he wasn't okay with, was Gavin talking to the British kid. He seemed to be having a nice conversation, making Michael more jealous.

 

He flipped out his phone and asked Geoff to meet him in the bathroom. Michael was able to slip out without Gavin seeing him.

 

“This better be important because I was this close to asking her out.” Geoff crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“Do you think Gavin would ever break up with me?” Michael’s voice had cracked, completely surprising Geoff. He wasn't like this. Michael was always strong and confident.

 

“Dude, Gavin is _in love_ with you. He might be dumb and accidentally flirt with people but there's no way he could break up with you.” He patted the lad’s shoulder, an attempt at comfort.

 

The door swung open and Ryan walked in, raising an eyebrow. “Did I miss you two confessing feelings?”

 

Michael glared and Geoff laughed. “Aw, I'm sorry Ryan. Does Michael make you jealous?”

 

Ryan laughed too, shaking his head. “Now are you two staying while I take a leak or will you actually get back to class?”

  


Going home was a little on the weird side. Michael knew his mom didn't entirely approve of him staying at Geoff’s on a school night, but she couldn't be too upset, right?

 

Wrong.

 

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought you would have been smarter than to actually stay there when I clearly said no!”

 

“It's tradition Mom!”

 

“How can something you started last year be a tradition?”

 

“Well we were going to make it a high school tradition as long as nobody's parents disagreed. And for the record, you were more than happy to have me out of the house a year ago.”

 

His mother narrowed her eyes. “Go up to your room right now before we do something we regret.”

 

Michael happily obliged, running upstairs. But at the top, he caught his mom and step-fuck’s conversation.

 

“He was safer out of the house last year. Now I realize his friends are going to make him slack off in school.”

 

“You have to be harder on the boy. He needs a better father figure.”

 

“You won't be one if he throws a fit every time we even mention getting married.”

 

Michael heard enough, slamming his bedroom door as he entered.

  


Can it even be called a home if it’s empty all the time?

 

Geoff sighed when he walked in, losing whatever happiness school had given him. He was out of booze and mostly out of food. Not that his parents would care anyway. They would come home, buy enough for them to eat, and then leave again.

 

He texted Jack to see if he could sleep over and he was waiting on a reply.

 

He never really had a childhood. This is how it was, ever since Geoff was old enough to learn not to tell anyone this is how he lived. He was young and naive. If he really knew this is what it would be like he would've ran to social services and begged for a new home.

 

He had let the secret out to Jack’s mom, who usually let him stay over. But she was a lot busier, so he rarely was able to go.

 

Jack had texted back, letting him know his mom was home and he could come over. They were having spaghetti, his favorite.

  


“Welcome dear! It's so good to see you again,” Jack’s mom hugged Geoff tightly. “You can come on into the dining room, we were just about to eat.”

 

Geoff entered with her and was able to smile for real. This place felt like home to him. Jack was like a brother, and his parents were way better than his own.

 

He fit right in, too. He made jokes that people laughed at and listened as his mom talked about her crazy schedule lately. Everything was wonderful.

 

Jack pushed around his spaghetti, knowing his father way eyeing him intently. He knew spaghetti was filled with carbs and would only make him heavier.

 

He sighed and silently moved some of his onto Geoff’s plate, nobody else taking notice.

 

That night, Jack didn't ask questions as he and Geoff played Halo with Ray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the weird spacing, I'll work on fixing it. New chapter should be up on or before Monday!


	4. Chapter 4

“You guys are coming to the party.” Barbara informed the lads at their lockers.

“Why? It's at Jeremy’s house.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“So? There will be plenty of people to block them out. He probably won't even know you're there.”

“I doubt Geoff will want to go. He wanted us to hang out on Saturday.” Gavin explained to her.

“Already texted him. Jack is going too.”

“We might as well go. First party of the year, yeah?” Ray smiled and shut his locker.

“I’ll go if my little Micoo goes.” Gavin cooed.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I'll tag along.” Michael rolled his eyes with a smile and interlaced his fingers with Gavin’s.

“Ryan! There you are. You coming to the party?” Barbara asked.

“I guess if the rest of these losers are going I might as well.” Ryan shrugged.

“Great! I think the only person left to invite is Griffon…”

“Please don't do that!” Geoff came running up to them.

“Why?”

“I don't want her first experience here to be at Jeremy’s party.” Geoff whined.

“Well, what else is she gonna do? All of us are going to the party.”

“I'm sure Caiti could have her over.”

“She wants to go with Jack. I guess they haven't been spending much time together.” Barbara sighed. “I can keep her busy I guess.”

“I just don't want her in with the wrong crowd is all.” Geoff huffed.

The group of friends laughed, Jack having now joined them. “I think she already is.”

The bell rang and they all scrambled to get to class before the teachers shut their door.

 

“Are you going to the party on Saturday?” Tina questioned.”

“I guess. My friends are going.”

“I'll be there.” She smiled deviously.

Ray coughed, going back to scribbling in his notebook. “That's nice.”

“I'm bringing some Adderall. Jeremy wanted it.”

“Uh-huh.” Ray didn't even know what the fuck that was.

Tina sighed and went back to her desk. She only wanted to talk it over. But he was being a baby about it. She rolled her eyes and laid her head on the desk.

He was only mildly annoyed with her. He knew she remembered him, and he knew what a mistake it was. Why was she even trying with a loser like him anyway? He just wanted her to forget about him.

 

He wanted to forget her.

  


“God this party is going to suck.” Geoff groaned.

“We don't have to go. I'm only going in case you need a ride home.” Ryan poked Geoff’s shoulder.

“You only have your learner’s. You cannot drive.” Gavin poked Geoff with a stirring stick.

“I don't care. I just need to go.” Geoff mumbled, taking notes.

“It's not gonna help.” Ryan eyed the older boy.

“I don't need your parenting right now Ryan. Mine haven't been home in two weeks so sorry if I’m a little stressed.”

Ryan sighed, continuing to take the notes as Gavin looked at his friends worriedly. “Please pay attention, Gav. I'm not making Ryan do all the work in our next lab.” Geoff warned.

  
  


“Open your mouth wider you dumb fuck.” Geoff readied another M&M.

“It's open as wide as it goes, you're just a bad shot.” Jack commented.

“Cmon, Gavin. Michael’s dick has gotta be bigger than that.” Geoff remarked, causing Gavin to flail, and Michael to blush.

“Bugger off!” Gavin huffed.

“Are they always like this?” Griffon whispered to Lindsay.

The red haired girl nodded with a smile. “Every day brings a new surprise.”

Caiti laid her head on Jack’s shoulder, and he squeezed her hand. He had actually eaten some of his salad, just enough so nobody could comment.

Geoff continued trying to throw M&M’s into Gavin’s mouth, the rest of the group laughing at how terrible he was. Barbara informed everyone about the details of the party, more than excited to have Griffon tagging along.

 

Tina kept glancing at Ray, but gave up. “It's no use. He's clearly got somebody else on his mind.” Meg shook her head.

“I just wish he would at least talk to me. It was my fault we did what we did. He seemed really cool too.” She slumped back, defeated.

“He’ll be at the party. Recreate it.”

“I don't know, Meg. That night was… different. He was alone at the party. And it was out of town.”

“Maybe he has a secret night life away from his friends!”

Tina rolled her eyes. “Just don't leave me, okay? I don't wanna get wasted this weekend.”

“I'll try my best.” Meg sang, finishing her salad.

  
  


Michael found Jack in the bathroom, washing his hands furiously.

“Yo. You okay dude?” Michael put his hand on Jack’s shoulder.

He jumped, and turned to face the curly haired lad. “Oh? Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Just trying to get the lead off.”

“Taking a lot of notes, huh?”

Jack nodded, forcing a smile. “First week is pretty tough. It'll only get easier.”

“I sure hope so. I’m gonna really try to get my grades up this year.”

“I can help if you need a study-buddy.” Jack offered.

“That'd be great! We could make study groups sometimes too. Ray probably needs help.”

“And we both know he's way too scared to do it with Ryan.”

Michael bursted into a giggle fit. “That didn't come out right, but it still works!”

Jack joined in and started laughing. It was his first genuine laugh in a while.

  


“Are you going to the party?” Dan asked.

“Fucking everyone knows about this goddamned party.” Michael mumbled, his back to Dan and Gavin.

“I am! All my friends are going, too. I'm sure they'd love to meet you. And what better way to meet the new kid than at a party!” Gavin said, happily.

“Sounds fun. I'll be there then, too.” Dan nodded.

“Of fucking course.” Michael growled.

“Have you told him that him talking to Dan upsets you?” Miles asked.

“No.” Michael narrowed his eyes. “And don't tell me I should because that dumb fuck would still have to talk to him.”

Miles rolled his eyes. “I swear you guys are all babies. I'm glad we only talk in here.”

“Me too.” Michael drummed his fingers on the desk, silently wishing Gavin could hear his thoughts.

  


“It's the first fucking week and we have to make a cake?” Geoff banged his head off the table.

Jack slid his hand underneath so Geoff’s forehead would his something a bit softer. “It's not that hard. Just follow the directions on the box.”

The girls walked over and tossed a towel on Geoff. “You're on search duty with Griffon. Make sure you steal the other people’s good shit while Jack and I take all the ingredients.” Caiti informed him.

Griffon walked over to Geoff and smiled. “Shall we start?”

The two split up and searched the other group’s cabinets for the mixer, Griffon successfully finding it and slipping it away before they noticed. Geoff high fived her when she returned with it. “That's the greatest fucking thing I've seen! How did they not see you?”

She shrugged, out of breath. “Beats me. It's heavy as fuck.”

 

Geoff fell in love with her a little more.

 

Jack and Caiti returned with everything they would need. “And I even asked to use her stove. She said we could! Let's get baking!”

Jack and Geoff poured in all the ingredients as Caiti went to preheat the oven. Griffon washed and dried a cake pan for them to use.

After the cake was done, they wrapped it up and put it away so they could decorate it tomorrow. “Wow, I think we’re the only group done!” Griffon smiled. “We make a great team.”

“We sure do.” Geoff smiled and clapped Jack on the back.

  


“There was a girl staring at you today at lunch.” Ryan commented, flipping over the flashcard.

“Oh? Huh. She must still be pissed I took her seat.”

Ryan nodded, humming in response. He didn't want to get too in depth with the girl in case it would upset Ray. He was trying his best to keep things sane between them, so maybe he could ask him out by the end of the month.

But this was twice now he had caught the girl looking at Ray. It was the same one he saw in a class. Hopefully Ryan could spend some time with Ray at the party.

“Ryan? We’re done with the cards.” Ray pointed at the new vocabulary on the Smartboard.

“Oh! Thanks! I mean, uh, gracias.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh party is next chapter! Hopefully the gang doesn't royally fuck anything up! Next chapter on or before Wednesday


	5. Chapter 5

“We don't have to go, Linds. I'm sure they'll understand.”

“Nope, I'm definitely going. I’ve never been to a party before.” 

Barbara sighed. “I just didn't expect you to be the partying type, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess. I just really wanna go.”

“Alright, well I have to leave. I'll pick you up later, okay?”

“Alright. Bye Barb! Love ya!” Lindsay sang.

“Love you too. Bye.”

Lindsay hung up the phone and looked at herself in the mirror. If she ate right before the party, she could easily get drunk fast and throw up. She wouldn't have to shove her fingers down her throat. She wouldn't have to close the bathroom door unless people were near. She wouldn't have to explain to people that she was fine. 

She could let loose. Eat what she wanted and throw it all up later.

She could do this.

This party was going to be great!

 

This was going to be a big fucking mistake.

Ray had already lost everyone, there were fucking people everywhere, and now he was face-to-face with Tina.

“Can we at least talk? I know that’s not who you are. I feel guilty for getting you hammered and doing what we did.”

“Look I just. Ugh, fuck. I made a mistake. You heard Jeremy, I'm gay.”

Tina arched an eyebrow at the puerto rican. “I don't believe that. I've heard you're bi.”

Ray groaned. “Okay yeah I am. I don't want to be in a relationship with you.” She got an unimpressed look on her face. “Fuck, I just meant that I—I have a crush on someone else. And I don't wanna complicate things.”

“I get that.” Tina smiled. “Can we be friends though? You seem like a cool person.”

Ray smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“So you want a drink?”

“Oh uh, I don’t drink.” He scratched the back of his head.

“I think there's water.” She smiled and left Ray all alone in the middle of a living room with people dancing to trashy music. This is what he was used to, though. It was a little lonely and kind of boring. People just kept repeating the same moves and Ray could've sworn he heard this song play earlier.

He found himself amused though, when a very drunk Gavin and Michael danced his way to them. Gavin noticed Ray first and grinned. “Having fun there Vav?”

Gavin nodded as Michael grinded on him. “It's bloody top!”

“Don't get too crazy! This isn't our house!” 

Michael laughed and pulled Gavin in for a sloppy kiss. “Don't worry, Ray! We’re just showing off for everyone!” 

Ray chuckled and turned to see Tina with a bottle of water and a soda for herself. He smiled as she sat back down beside him.

Michael took noticed of this and lead Gavin a little away. “Gav. Gavin! Did ya, did you see that girl with Ray?” He slurred.

“Yeah! She looks nice, right?”

“What if fucking Ryan sees them? He's the only sober one here!”

“I think our boi Jack only had a few drinks. Oh look!” Gavin pointed, stumbling a bit. “There's Dan! Michael! Micoooo! We should talk to him.”

“Why the fuck would we do that?”

“Oh come on, he's nice!” Gavin detached himself from his boyfriend to go talk to Dan. 

Michael felt his blood starting to boil. He walked to the kitchen, pushing people out of his way as he went to get another drink. He was going to need something strong.

He stopped when he saw Barbara. She looked tired, and worried. “Have you seen Lindsay?”

“No, sorry.” 

The female sighed and went in another direction.

 

Jack and Caiti were outside by the fire, a bottle of Mike’s hard lemonade and a beer at their feet.

“I'm sorry I've been so distant lately.” Caiti played with Jack’s fingers in her lap. “I just wanted to get adjusted to everything first.” She knew something was wrong with Jack. He was being awfully quiet and his eyes hadn't seemed to shine the way they used to.

“I understand.” He kissed the top of her head. “Hopefully we can spend some time together soon. Alone, I mean.”

Caiti laughed. “Yeah, that'd be nice. No offense, but being around our friends a lot gets exhausting. Sometimes I can just feel the tension and I’m just waiting for someone to rip someone else’s head off.”

“Yeah, Gavin seems to be bad at relationships. And Michael’s temper will definitely get him in trouble.”

Caiti nodded in agreement, nestling closer into Jack. She sighed contently, looking up at the stars.

Griffon smiled sadly at the sight, sitting opposite of them. She was in between Miles and Trevor, but they were high and staring into the fire. She kept looking back for signs of Geoff, never finding him.

What she didn't know was he was currently winning a game of beer pong, despite how drunk he was. “Watch this fuckers!” He took his last shot and made it. “Suck it bitches! Nice job Burns!”

Bernie high fived him, saying he was gonna head home. Geoff said goodbye and went to get another drink. Or two. Probably ten. 

It was the first time he drank since the night before school started. And goddamn did it feel good. 

He danced a little, drank a lot. Saw his friends a few times. Nothing really concerned him. Until the curly haired lad came in and angrily got a beer. “Woah buddy. What's up?”

“Fucking Gavin. Fucking Dan. I should’ve known Gavin only likes British people.”

“He's probably just excited to meet someone else with an accent.” Geoff smirked, but Michael only glared. “Just, don't embarrass him. Have fun. I'm sure Ray is around here somewhere.”

Michael snorted. “Yeah. Probably off fucking the bimbo who couldn't keep her googly eyes off him.” 

“Oh shit.” Geoff pushed past him to go find Ryan.

The blonde haired gent was engaged in a pretty intense conversation with a purple haired girl. He stopped when he saw Geoff approaching. “Oh Geoff! Hey! I haven't really seen anyone since we got here. Everyone kind of dispersed, huh?”

“Yeah I s’pose so. Have you seen Ray?”

“You're the first one I've seen, sorry.”

Geoff mumbled something and turned around, going to look for Ray. 

He had seen Ryan and the girl. And the sinking feeling in his gut told him to get a drink. He had abandoned Tina, she said something about finding Meg anyway, and went to find a drink. Thank god none of his friends saw him pull out a Mike’s hard lemonade. He downed it fast, already feeling dizzy. 

Well, if Ryan can have a girlfriend, so can Ray. Just because they were both bi and Ray liked him doesn't mean they had to be together.

But he couldn't find Tina so he just kept drinking. Guess he wasn't getting lucky twice with her.

He did find Lindsay, sitting on the bathroom floor with some vomit on her lip. 

“Woah, you should probably slow down there.” Ray awkwardly handed her a glass of water. The two had never really talked before.

She accepted it and drank it, gathering her thoughts. “I shouldn't be doing this. I should've stuck to what I know.”

Ray nodded, not entirely knowing what she meant. He sat down next to her and leaned back against the wall. “Parties always seem to tear people apart. I mean, drunk people making bad decisions, a huge house for people to get lost in, and assholes who own the house.”

Lindsay hiccuped, taking another sip of water. “Drunk people are only brave enough to act on their sober thoughts.”

Ray slumped back. He thought about Ryan. He wasn't even drunk and he was talking to a girl none of them knew. And here was Ray. A little buzzed and trying to hook up with a girl he just made peace with. Boy he really hated himself. “God I'm a terrible person then.” He hugged his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees, Lindsay leaning over to empty more of her stomach into the toilet.

 

Unfortunately for Gavin, Dan was sober. “I think you need to lay off the alcohol buddy. And it's getting late, I should head home.”

“No no no no, Dan! Danny boi. I wanna talk more about science with you.”

“Thanks Gavin, but I'm good. See you in school.”

“Wait! You don't understand.” Gavin slurred. “None of my friends like talking about this stuff. You do.” He clung to Dan’s arm. “I want someone to talk about it to.”

Dan shook him off and started walking away and Gavin sighed. He knew Michael was pissed so he decided to go find Jack.

He walked around, attempting to remember where Jack said he would be. He passed Barbara on the way. 

“Have you seen Lindsay?” 

Gavin shook his head. “Maybe she found Jack. Wanna come help me find him?”

The two walked outside to find Jack, Ray, and Lindsay out by the fire with Caiti and Griffon falling asleep. He plopped on the ground beside the gent. 

Jack looked down at him. “Did you fuck up, Gav?”

Gavin nodded and laid his head against his thigh. “I just wanted to get to know him better. Now Micoo has his panties in a knot. Bloody great, innit? First party of the year and I might've lost my boyfriend.”

“Caiti is falling asleep, maybe we should all call it a night. Go sleep at Geoff’s house.”

Gavin stood slowly, hanging onto Jack. He gently woke Caiti up and told her the plans. She nodded and threw their cans and bottles in the respective places, waking Lindsay. “We’ll go to Geoff’s house, just to make sure they are all okay.”

Jack and Gavin found Ryan first, telling him their plans. Ryan said goodbye to the purple haired girl and helped them find Geoff, who was passed out on the kitchen table. “Jack, you're gonna have to help me.” Together, Ryan and Jack got Geoff to his feet, Gavin still stumbling along with them. The girls and Ray found Michael and said they were going home. He was too tired to protest. They all met up in the front yard and walked to Geoff’s house.

Michael and Ray walked up front, Lindsay and Barbara close behind them. Ryan, Jack, Geoff, and Gavin were a little ways back, being helped by Griffon and Caiti.

Somehow, they all managed to get to Geoff’s house. The girls helped everyone get into a bed of some sort and then they decided to sleep there too.

“Are you sure your parents are okay with this?” Lindsay questioned.

“Can we say I stayed somewhere else?” Griffon looked at her new friends. 

“Yeah, we all stayed at my house.” Barbara smoothed out the blanket. 

Together, the four girls slept on an air mattress in the kitchen. 

Everyone would have something to talk about in the morning for sure. For now, they had to sleep off the drinks and thoughts clouding their minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on or before Friday! Hope you're enjoying!


	6. Chapter 6

“God my head.” Ray groaned, sitting up slowly. He looked around, trying to remember where he was. He saw Michael and Gavin tangled up beside him, Ryan and Jack snuggled on the couch but no sign of Geoff.

He walked to the kitchen and saw Caiti, Lindsay and Barbara asleep on an air mattress. He shook his head and made his way back to the bathroom.

 

Outside, Griffon and Geoff were on his back porch. This is how Geoff found her, just sitting and staring.

“I'm sorry about the party. It was probably a pretty bad experience for you. My friends are all a little fucked up.” Geoff let out a long sigh.

“The party was fun. I just wish I would have gotten to spend more of it with you.” Griffon confessed, looking over at him.

“Why me? I thought I creeped you out.”

Griffon laughed. God, Geoff didn't know how infectious it was. “I like you, silly.” She poked his nose. “You intrigue me.”

Geoff smiled and kissed her cheek. “You think we should make breakfast for all these assholes?”

She nodded and stood, Geoff taking her hand and walking back into the house.

They were greeted by a sleepy looking Lindsay and Jack looting through the cabinets. Jack caught sight of the two first and smiled. Geoff rolled his eyes as Lindsay began to squeal. “It was bound to happen eventually.” Geoff said with a blush.

In the living room, Ryan woke up and saw the three lads all cuddling. He chuckled, yawning. He found the rest of the group in the kitchen, all the girls now finally awake.

“Boy you guys sure know how to make a mess of things.” Barbara said jokingly.

“I didn't do anything last night. Just talked to people.” Ryan shrugged.

Geoff let out a low growl, narrowing his eyes. “I'm pretty sure that's all Ray did too. So there's one person who didn't royally fuck up.”

“I was pretty surprised I didn't see him.” Barbara commented.

“Why are you guys talking about me?” Ray entered the kitchen.

“No reason!” The group cheered.

Ray grumbled and sat down next to Lindsay. She remembered him finding her last night, and she was grateful he didn't seem to remember their conversation.

 

“You son of a bitch!”

Everyone ran to the living room where Michael and Gavin were now awake.

“Michael! I'm sorry! Please don't be mad at me!” Gavin pleaded.

“Hey! What's going on?” Barbara questioned.

“He abandoned me last night to talk to fucking Dan!”

“Michael stop!” Ryan held the ball of rage back.

Gavin sighed, and looked down. “I'm sorry Michael. I just wanted to talk about science stuff with him. You don't like it when I talk about that stuff.”

“Gavin…” Michael shook off Ryan and took Gavin’s chin in his hand. “I love it when you talk about it. Your eyes light up and you start talking with your hands and it's the cutest thing.”

Gavin was blushing, and Michael pressed his lips against Gavin’s.

“Finally! I was wondering when you two would talk.” Geoff grinned.

Slowly, everyone made their way out of Geoff’s house and back to their own.

 

Jack decided to walk Caiti home, the two wanting even just a little time alone.

“I'm glad Michael and Gavin made up. It was about damn time.” Caiti skipped along the sidewalk.

“Now if only Ray and Ryan would stop dancing around themselves.”

Caiti let out a hearty laugh. “That'll be the day.”

Jack smiled, watching his girlfriend. She was so happy. Their friends were all fine, nobody was mad at anyone. At least to Jack, anyway. He didn't know about Geoff knowing about Ryan and Ray and Tina. To Jack, things were great.

Until he stepped foot in his door to his father, a disappointing look on his face.

“Did you skip out on your diet this weekend?”

“No, God. I just had some breakfast at Geoff’s.” He lied. “And I didn't even eat at the party. I only drank a little so get off my back.”

He stormed up the stairs and went to his computer He knew he couldn't stay away from food forever, so he attempted some research. He found something called appetite suppressants. There's some home remedy versions.

And then there are some sold over the counter. Well, he might just have to make a little pit stop later.

 

Gavin and Michael decided to go to Gavin’s until later. Michael really didn't wanna go home and Gavin didn't want the wrath of his aunt.

“We’ll be upstairs!” He called as he and Michael hurried to the Brit’s room.

Michael immediately crashed onto the bed. “God it's so comfy.” He wrapped blankets around himself and sighed happily.

Gavin just rolled his eyes and plopped on the floor. “How much do you want to bet Ray is on Xbox right now?”

Michael made a muffled reply, and Gavin booted the console up. Michael poked his head out and kisses Gavin’s cheek. “I'm sorry.”

Gavin smiled. “It's okay. I just don't want you to think I don't like you.” He poked the curly haired boys cheek and frowned. “Huh. I guess everyone got grounded. Ray and not even Geoff are on.”

Michael found his way out of the blankets and into Gavin's lap. “I guess that means more time for us.”

The Brit pouted. “We had a fight and you think I wanna make out?” Michael just tilted his head. “Because you're right.”

Gavin wrapped his arms around Michael's neck and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss. God, he missed this. He hasn't seen Michael all summer and when he got back they were mad at each other. Now things were right again.

 

For the most part, anyway.

Ryan seemed to be having a hard time at home. Sure, he put on a brave face for everyone else, but right now, he was a scared little boy hiding in his closet from his parents.

They had been fighting since before he got home, not even stopping acknowledging his presence. He wasn't sure what it was about this time, but he just wanted it to stop.

_It's about you. It's always about you. They fight because you're worthless, pathetic-_

“Stop!” He screamed into a hoodie. He was breathing heavy now. Why was everything starting to fall apart just as it got put back together?

He stayed in the closet for what felt like hours, slowly exiting once the yelling stopped. He looked at his phone, seeing a few messages but none he really wanted to reply to.

He felt empty. Not really having enough energy to even text his friends back. He still had some homework, but it didn't matter now. He crashed onto his bed and slept.

 

Ray wasn't even home to be playing video games. He was just wandering around, not really knowing where to go.

Sure, home was an option. But that would mean seeing the disappointed look on his mother’s face because she knew he was at yet another party.

He hated being a disappointment.

He found his way at the old playground and decided to sit on the swings for old times sake.

Partying wasn't meant to become a habit, it just was meant for a little quality time with people he'd never see again.

At least he'd hope for that. Now Tina was back and he started to have conflicted feelings.

Just because they fucked doesn't mean he has to like her, right?

Or were these feelings just jealousy from seeing Ryan with a girl?

God, Ray doesn't have a fucking clue. He just wanted everything to be right. Before he liked Ryan. Before he started going to parties. Before he hated himself.

He sighed, kicking himself off the swing.

If he didn't go home now he never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated! Hope you're enjoying and new chapter should be up on or before Monday! <3


	7. Chapter 7

The next week of school was all but exciting, the teachers now definitely starting on the real work. It would prove to be difficult, but the gang could get by.

“Ryan.” Gavin whined. “You know how much I love chemistry now don't let it get ruined because I'm just a teenie bit confused.”

Ryan sighed, setting his work aside. “Gavin, it's just significant figures. How hard can it be?”

“Is this one five or one?” Geoff squeezed into their conversation.

“It's one. Because of the zeros but no decimal point.”

“That's just a load of bollocks.”

Ryan rubbed his temples. “Ask the teacher then.” He mumbled.

Geoff gave Gavin a warning look and the two decided to try it on their own, knowing they could compare with Ryan later if needed.

 

“There's another party this weekend.” Tina informed her newest friend.

“Fuck that.” Ray said, shaking his head. 

She pouted. “The last one was pretty fun.”

“Yeah until I saw the guy in crushing on talking to a girl and looking pretty damn happy about it.” Ray snapped.

“You know, you don't have to invite your friends. You could just come.”

Ray snorted. “We’re probably gonna have game night anyway. I can't just leave them high and dry for a stupid party.”

Tina sighed. “I'm just saying. Alright, come or don't come.” She threw her hands up. “I don't care.” She walked to her desk.

Ray would love to go to a party, but now that his friends are all done being trapped for the summer, he'd really love to spend time with them. 

Sure, he was mad at Ryan but maybe playing some truth or dare or would you rather could make him spill. Yeah, he'd rather do that than go to another party.

 

“I'm inviting the girls to my house this weekend.” Caiti informed the lunch table. “So if anyone had plans with them, well too bad!” She smiled brightly.

Geoff rolled his eyes and ran his thumb over Griffon’s hand. They hadn't said anything was official, but they did like holding hands. It was okay that she was going to Caiti’s this weekend. That just meant he would have time with his boys.

“So my house fellas?” Jack questioned, eating a tiny piece of his salad.

“Yeah, my house needs a break.” Geoff chuckled.

“I think it should be a game night.” Ray piped in, trying to hide the suspicious grin on his face.

“That sounds fun.” Michael nodded.

He looked to Gavin, who seemed a little distracted. He was just pushing his food around and sighing. Michael nudged him lightly. “Hm?”

“We’re going to Jack’s for game night Saturday.” Michel informed him.

“That sounds nice.” Gavin nodded, leaning against Michael. 

Gavin was fine for today. It just started off with a lovely phone call from his parents, wanting him back in England. His aunt of course said no, but not after a little hesitation. Gavin couldn't think of a reason his aunt would want him going back, but she was probably tired of having him.

Michael wrapped an arm around him, not questioning his behavior. They had video production next anyway, so they'd be together. 

 

Slowly, the week finished and Saturday night rolled around. 

“For god sakes Gavin pick a house!” Ray said, having the cards fanned out for him. “My arms are getting tired.”

“I don't want to get the bloody trailer.” Gavin pouted, finally picking out two cards.

Geoff busted out into a fit of giggles as he saw Gavin got the two shittiest houses possible. “That fucking sucks, dude.”

Gavin whined. “I want a repick!”

The whole group groaned and Jack took his turn before Gavin made another twenty minute decision. “Jesus Christ another kid?” Jack put the peg in his car.

Geoff was still giggling from Gavin’s pick. “That's gonna be you and Caiti. Having so many kids you're gonna need another car.”

Jack glared at him and Ryan took his turn. He finished first, retiring at Countryside Acres so nobody could steal his LIFE tiles. 

“Hey he fucking cheated.” Michael protested. “There's no way he finished and Gavin just now bought a house.”

Ryan chuckled. “It can when I spun high numbers and Gavin got one four times in a row.”

Ray clapped the British lad on the back and giggled. “Poor guy.” 

Gavin huffed, and another hour passed before the game was completely over. Somehow Jack managed to pull out a win, and with no surprise, Gavin came dead last. 

Jack was putting the game away when Ray suggested they play Truth or Dare.

“I don't know, Gavin might get his panties in a twist if we yell at him for picking truth too much.” Michael said with a smile.

“I will not!” 

“Calm your tits. I go first! Jack, truth or dare?” Geoff questioned. 

“Hm. I guess I’ll play it safe and go truth.”

“Do you love Caiti?”

Jack blushed. “Aren't we a little young to determine that?”

Geoff rolled his eyes. “Fucking, I don't know. But you're the only one here with his shit together so I thought I'd ask.”

“I mean, I guess.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “Like, I could see us spending the rest of eternity together but I don't wanna hold her back.”

“Shit that got deep.” Michael whispered to Gavin.

“Anyway! Ryan, truth or dare?” Jack was still blushing as he asked.

“Dare. I like to live dangerously.” Ryan smirked.

“I dare you to kiss Ray.”

“Woah what the fuck?” Ray sputtered.

Jack shrugged. “You two are the only single gays here.”

Ryan was blushing at Ray still fought. “I'm bi, thank you very much.” 

“Just do the fucking Dare so I don't have to snap you with the rubber band.”

Ray sat back, watching as Ryan drew closer. He could tell Ryan’s breathing had picked up, and the smell of his cologne was intoxicatingly wonderful. 

Ray was looking at his lips, they parted slightly when Ryan was especially close. Ray gulped and leaned in the rest of the way, the two finally kissing.

The whistles and cheers were enough to make Ryan pull away quick, with a blush heating up his entire face. He shuffled away and sat back in his seat.

Ray’s heart was pounding. Did it mean anything to him? Or was it all just for the game? He slumped back as he remembered the girl at the party.

Ryan was blushing profusely. He just kissed Ray. And Ray kissed back. Did that mean something? What are they?

He decided against continuing on with this endless cycle of Ray thoughts and play the game.

“Michael, truth or dare?” Ryan asked.

“I don't wanna kiss Gavin right now so truth.”

“What is your favorite thing about Gavin?”

“You fucking cheese ball. You kiss a guy and now you're all lovey dovey.” Geoff cooed.

“Shut the fuck up I need to answer. My favorite part about Gavin is probably that he keeps me grounded. When I'm losing my grip and things get tough, he's always there to make it better.” Michael smiled, looking to his boyfriend.

Gavin was a little teary eyed and leaned in to peck Michael’s cheek.

“Jesus you guys are getting deep.” Jack muttered. 

“So Geoffrey. Truth or Dare?” 

“Fucking dare. I'm no pussy.”

“I dare you to call Griffon and ask her out.”

“That's not fair! I don't even have her number.”

“Just call Caiti and ask for Griffon.” Michael grinned.

Geoff huffed and swiped Jack’s phone, dialing Caiti. “Hey uh it's Geoff. I wanna talk to Griffon. Yes I promise it's important. Hey uh Griffon. You wanna uh go out someday? Yeah, you know. On a date. Okay? Cool! Thanks. Bye!” Geoff hung up quickly with a blush. 

“So what did she say?” Gavin tilted his head, looking at Geoff.

“She said yeah, she'd love to, someday.” Geoff mumbled.

“Aw now he’s gonna be pouty all night.” Gavin scooted over to poke his cheek.

“Don't fucking touch me. Let's just continue this stupid game.”

 

“Lindsay don't you want any pizza?” Barbara questioned.

“I'm good. Had a big family dinner.” She forced a smile. I just don't feel like throwing up again.

Caiti turned on the radio and the girls sang softly to themselves through bites of pizza.

“This is nice.” Lindsay smiled. It had been a while since it was just the girls.

“Yeah. Free pizza and a sleepover are always nice.” Griffon laughed, reaching for another slice.

“The boys just get so overbearing sometimes.” Barbara rolled her eyes as the rest agreed.

“Does anyone else think Jack has been acting off lately?” Caiti asked, sitting up a little straighter.

Barbara shrugged. “Maybe it's something at home that's bugging him. You know the guys don't talk much about that.”

“Yeah. I'm still worried though. He hasn't eaten much of a lunch ever since school started.” She frowned, resting her chin on her knees. “I don't want him to think I'm neglecting him either. I'm just a little busy with family stuff.”

“They still want to move, huh?” Lindsay said quietly.

Caiti nodded with a sniffle and looked away. “I keep telling them no, I'm fine. I don't want to leave my friends behind again.”

“I don't want you to leave.” Griffon smiled weakly. “Four is a great number.”

Caiti smiled and wiped her eyes. “I really do have the greatest friends.”

The girls just sat and talked for a while, when Caiti’s phone rang. “Huh. It's Jack. I wonder why he would be calling me on game night. Hello? You have something important to tell her?” She handed her cell to Griffon, whispering, “It's Geoff.”

Griffon answered. “Hello? Go out someday? I mean I suppose so. Alright, bye.” She hung up with a slight blush tinting her cheeks. 

The rest huddled closer and Barbara spoke up first. “What was that about?”

Griffon’s blush grew darker and she hid her face in a pillow. Lindsay and Barbara giggled. “Cmon, tell us!”

Griffon poked her head up. “He asked me out. On a date. But he said someday. I bet it was just a stupid prank.” Her eyes were starting to darken with anger.

“Woah hey wait.” Caiti butted in. “I'm sure it wasn't just for a game or prank or whatever. I've seen the way he looks at you. He wants _something_ with you.”

“Jack looks at Caiti the same way.” Barbara smiled. 

Caiti blushed and smiled.

Soon the girls fell asleep, Caiti and Lindsay sharing the bed and Barbara and Griffon on an air mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! <3


	8. Chapter 8

Slowly, September faded into October and nothing really changed. Michael and Gavin were still happy, Ray and Ryan were still very confused about the kiss but way too scared to admit to it. Jack and Caiti were still going strong, but Geoff and Griffon hadn't been on a date yet. 

Nobody went to any parties, the parents stayed off their children’s backs (for the most part.) And the gang still hung out on the weekends.

Things were pretty normal to say at the least.

But things don't stay the same forever.

 

Gavin sighed heavily when his test score came back, mumbling, “Bloody hell. Can't even be good at the one thing I like.”

Geoff nudged him and showed Gavin his test. Geoff did considerably worse. The two looked at Ryan, who had a much higher score. 

While the teacher droned on and on about how many of them didn't belong in the class if they wouldn't put any effort in, the three boys were talking quietly amongst themselves.

“I can help you guys study for the next test. Just let me know when and where. I want to help you guys because I hate seeing you like this.” Ryan passed his test back up to the front.

“I thought I actually understood it this time.” Gavin rested his chin on the probably unsanitary lab table.

“I cannot say the same.” Geoff sat back.

“I’ll help. I promise.” Ryan smiled. “And if you still don't understand it I'm sure the teacher will be glad to help.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “The guy probably won't.”

“Hey if he's willing to help some of the dumbest people he can help you.”

“Gee thanks.” Gavin had a small smile playing on his lips though.

 

“Jack don't you want some?” Caiti offered her boyfriend some of her plate of fries. 

He shook his head, nibbling on a granola bar. “I'm not really that hungry.” It's not like he was lying, the appetite suppressants were working well. He never had much of a desire to eat so he didn't have to lie to people anymore. He always had some type of snack for his meals, enough to fill him and stop the questions from everyone else.

Well, the questions to his face anyway.

Barbara and Lindsay were in the bathroom, talking in private.

“I don't think he's eating much of anything anymore.” Lindsay pointed out.

Barbara nodded. “But he is actually eating now than he did before.”

She shook her head. “I'm just saying, those eating habits don't exactly correlate. He goes from eating nothing and looking miserable to eating a granola bar and looking happy? Something just doesn't seem right.”

Barbara frowned. “Do you think he has some type of eating disorder?”

Lindsay froze for a moment. “I… I don't know. Maybe he's recovering from it. Anyway, we should get back to lunch. It's soon over.” She started walking out the door, Barbara following her.

 

Slowly, Michael was okay with Gavin and Dan. He found out Dan had a girlfriend so he was at least somewhat straight. 

That is until it came time for a partner project. And Gavin picked Dan.

Michael snatched Miles up because he was the only person Michael really knew is this god damn class. Oh, would Michael have some words after school. He'd hunt Gavin down if he had to.

But for now, all he could do was sit in a ball of seething rage and glare at his boyfriend. 

“Trouble in paradise hm?” Miles said, bored. He flicked a paper football towards one of his other friends.

“It's not like that.” Michael snapped. “I just don't understand why he wouldn't pick me.” He said quietly, slumping back in his seat.

 

That night, Ray was greeted to an empty house. Which was awfully odd. He shrugged and went to the kitchen, seeing a note from his mom. 

Went out with some friends. Might not be home tonight. Love you!

Ray sighed and went to his room, loading up his Xbox. Maybe someone would be online to play. Keep his mind off things for a while.

That's when a pounding knock came to his door.

He ran down the stairs and peeked out to see who it was. When he opened the door, he gave the boy a questioning look. “Geoff? What are you doing here?”

The oldest gent walked in and crashed on the floor, breathing heavy. “I ran here, dude. Had to… had to get away.” 

Ray nodded and left, coming back with a water. He handed it to Geoff and sat down next to him. “My mom isn't home so you can spend the night.”

Geoff nodded and closed his eyes, laying his head back against the wall. “I don't understand why the fuck people have kids if they don't want them. I would've happily went up for adoption.” He spat, venom dripping from his words.

“I get it.” Ray nodded. “Why here and not Jack’s?”

“You're the closest and his parents would've done something.” He winced. “Ray.. can you keep a secret from everyone else?”

Ray tilted his head. “Geoff… I-I guess. I get that some things are better left as they are rather than taking action.” 

“They… they hit me.” He looked away, wiping his eyes. “But they made sure it's hidden.”

“Geoff…” The smaller boy hugged him tightly, feeling his heart being tugged. “You can't stay there.”

“They're never home anyway.” Geoff sobbed, shaking. “It was one time, it won't happen again.” He whimpered. “Right?” Ray stayed silent and pulled Geoff closer. “I may have…” Geoff hiccuped. “Called Barbs and said to meet here.” He said, sheepishly. 

Ray face palmed and shook his head. “Are you gonna tell her what happened?”

“She knows.” He hung his head.

No sooner than this, the blonde opened the door, looking at Ray. “Seriously? Lock your doors, dude.” That's all she said before leaning down and hugging Geoff, rubbing his back softly. 

Ray stood awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “So… what do we do?”

Barbara sighed. “Don't tell anyone else, okay? They'd make a big deal out of it and Geoff doesn't need that. His parents probably wouldn't get that much time in jail anyway, and he doesn't have any good family to take him in.” She shook her head, continuing quietly, “He'd be taken from us and put somewhere much worse. The best we can do is keep him safe here, and let them go.”

“They beat their own fucking son!”

“No shit Ray! And you know what? It fucking sucks. If we tell the police Geoff would have nobody! Did you not just here what I said?”

Ray blew out and paced. “So we just let this continue?”

“We can try and keep him away from it. His parents are only home every once in a while and when they do, maybe he could stay with one of us. My dad wouldn't know. Geoff has slept over a few times without him knowing.”

“Jesus Christ how long has it been going on?”

“He told me a couple months ago.”

Geoff had fallen asleep, and the two took him to the couch and let him rest. Ray still had questions, so he and Barbara sat at the kitchen table.

“The one night I went for a run and I saw him. He looked so scared, Ray. I've never seen him like that. I brought him home and snuck him in and he told me everything. How they always did it when they came home and something was wrong with the house. Maybe the dishes weren't done or Geoff’s bed wasn't made, it set them off. So a few times after he told me he would stay when it got bad. I just wish we could prevent it. One time he was actually bleeding, Ray. I'm just too scared to tell someone.”

“He can stay here sometimes. My mom isn't one to ask questions. I wish he would've told me sooner, God. How could he keep going with this?”

Barbara just shrugged. “You and I are the only ones who know. Please keep this a secret.”

Ray nodded, checking the time. “You should probably get home. I’ll sleep in the living room with him.” 

“Thank you. Remember, come to me if you have any problems, okay?” She offered a small smile and left.

Oh, did Ray have problems. Nobody needed to know about them though

 

“Gavin, seriously, what the fuck.” Michael had a tight grip on his boyfriend’s shoulder.”

“I just want to see what this guy is capable of. He and I have some really cool ideas for the slo-mo project.” Gavin shrugged him off and turned to face Michael.

“Oh so you don't think I'd be any help to your brilliant ideas?”

Gavin sighed. “I'm just saying. You tend to be a little… destructive at times. I'm not getting a bad grade because my boyfriend gets ragehappy. Now, Michael. It's been a long day and I'd like to go home. Text me if you want, otherwise I'll see you tomorrow.” Gavin began walking away, leaving Michael stunned. 

What the fuck just happened? Michael was so dumbfounded he couldn't even be angry. Gavin was just so nonchalant about his response. Something was definitely wrong, and Michael didn't want to be mad if Gavin is sad. 

During the walk home, Gavin kicked a rock along the sidewalk. He was actually dreading going home, but Michael didn't need to know. He was tired of arguing. He was tired of a lot of things actually. 

Maybe he should just sleep for a while, and everything would be the same when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! <3 next chapter will be up this weekend


	9. Chapter 9

“I'm having a party.” Caiti informed Barbara at their lockers. “A costume one where no girls dress as dirty nurses or cats. Borderline cosplay.” She grinned.

“Sounds like fun! Who is all invited?” The blonde asked.

“Probably just our friends really. I don't want someone to ruin it.” 

Barbara nodded as Lindsay walked up. “Hey! Caiti’s throwing a costume party. You in?”

“Yeah sure! I don't know who to dress up as though…”

“Who?” Barbara raised an eyebrow.

“Borderline cosplay.” Caiti sang as she skipped down the hall. “Don't forget to tell the boys!”

Barbara smiled and Lindsay giggled, saying their goodbyes and went on their way to first period.

She met with Michael and Ray, sliding into her seat and turning to talk to them. “Costume party at Caiti’s. And it's not a slutty one.” Barbara rolled her eyes.

“That's no fun.” Michael smirked.

“That doesn't work if you're gay.” Ray snickered. “Can I invite Tina? She's kinda getting tired of her friends and would like to fit in with our group.”

Barbara frowned. “I don't know, you'll have to ask Caiti. She wants to keep it small.” Ray pulled out his phone and was already texting her. Barbara sighed and turned to Michael. “How are things with Gavin?”

He snorted and leaned back. “Picked someone else for a project. But I said it was cool because he's been really down and won't talk to me. I'm hoping if I don't get angry he’ll open up to me.”

“Bummer. I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe a little party will cheer him up.” She smiled. 

“I hope so.” Michael said quietly, class beginning to start.

Truth is, Michael wasn't sure what was wrong with Gavin. It wasn't like the Brit to it share his feelings with Michael. They'd always been close, never hiding anything. Except maybe their crushes on each other. 

Meanwhile, Jack was happy. He'd gone out for a run this morning and popped an appetite suppressant so he felt great. Not hungry and feeling a bit lighter. Things were finally working for him.

All he had to do was continue scraping up some money for the pills and things would be okay. Nobody had to know he was taking them, it wasn't their business. If they sold them over the counter, they can't be that bad, right?

Other than feeling a little lightheaded after a morning run, Jack was doing great. He and Caiti were doing better. His weight was finally decreasing. His friends were all happy. Geoff seemed to be doing better since he hasn't asked to sleepover in a while. 

Ray and Tina were becoming closer friends. Tina told Ray about her friends and how she didn't like them much anymore. Ray mostly kept to himself, not really wanting her to know much about their friend group.

Plus, now knowing about Geoff had him a little distracted. He felt so helpless. He always wanted to be there for his friends, and now he couldn't. He sighed, grabbing his things to go to lunch.

“You guys can come to my house tonight for studying.” Geoff informed Ryan and Gavin on their way to lunch. “My parents aren't home so it'll be quiet.”

“Sounds top, I'll be there Geoff.” Gavin smiled.

“Works for me.” Ryan nodded. He was just glad they didn't want to come to his place for studying. “Is anyone else coming?”

“I think Caiti and Jack and doing something, not sure about Michael and Gavin.”

“Speaking of, how're things with Griffon?”

Geoff blushed and mumbled, “Things haven't gotten anywhere.”

The three entered lunch and sat at their table, a tired looking Gavin leaning on Michael, and the girls engaged in a heated conversation with Jack, while Ray played his DS.

“Great! Now that everyone's here I'd like to invite all of you to my costume party. And no dirty ones.” Caiti made a face.

“Can I bring Tina? She wants to meet you guys.”

“Woah Ray wants to dress up with his girlfriend.” Jack wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up she is just a friend.” Ray slumped back.

Ryan felt a twitch of something in his heart. Ray and Tina were a thing? Well, there goes his hopes of ever getting with Ray.

“I think we should keep it to us.” Geoff remarked, spitefully.

“I was hoping for it to stay small… But if she really wants to be friends with us she can come.” Caiti smiled. “Make sure she knows the rules though!”

“Don't worry.” Ray laughed. 

Griffon raised a brow at Caiti but didn't say anything, the rest of lunch continuing on.

“Do you want to do a couples thing Gavin?” Michael looked down at his boyfriend.

“S’pose so. We could be Banjo and Kazooie..”

“I like that idea. We should just get like onesies of Banjo and Kazooie.” Michael laughed. “It'll be a pajama/costume party!”

Gavin cracked a smile and kissed Michael's cheek. He was grateful the lad hasn't said anything about his behavior. He wasn't in the mood to talk about it. Ever, probably. 

The group said their goodbyes as lunch ended and Griffon pulled Caiti away.

“Why'd you let Ray invite that girl?”

“They're friends and if she wants to join our group I think we should at least test the waters.”

“Ryan just seemed a little down when he mentioned her. I just don't want a fight within the group.”

“I think they're just friends but who knows.” Caiti sighed. “I wish those two would just admit their feelings.”

Griffon nodded. “Ryan is pretty awful at hiding his body language.”

“We’ll keep an eye on Tina. Try and force Ryan and Ray to talk things out.”

“Is that a good idea though? Maybe we’re a little too young to be playing matchmaker.”

Caiti laughed. “You have a crush on Geoff and me and Jack are doing great. I think we’re perfect matchmakers.”

Griffon smiled as the entered class. “I wonder what we’re making today.”

“This feels like more of a cooking class than home ec.”

Griffon agreed and the girls took their seats at the table with the boys.

 

“So Tina’s coming to the party?” Ryan asked, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Yeah, said she’s getting tired of Meg and the rest of the cheerleaders. Wants to hang with cool people.” Ray flipped over a flashcard.

“What are you dressing up as?”

“Probably Tuxedo Mask. You know how I roll.” Ray smirked. “What about you?” 

“Maybe Hamlet.” 

Ray busted out laughing. “You got to go as something cooler, dude.”

“Like what?”

“Go as your GTA character. He's pretty badass.”

Ryan considered it. “Sounds fun, I don't think my hair is long enough for the ponytail though.”

“Or the mad king. I'd love to see you in a kilt.”

Ryan blushed at the comment and ended the conversation with a signal from the teacher that they were moving on. Maybe he'd look into it and match his costume with Ray. But he did say he'd love to see Ryan in a kilt… 

He had a few days to decide, and get some help from his friends.

 

Geoff invited his friends in, already having his chemistry spread out in the living room. “I need major help. I can't fail this class.”

“Don't worry, Rye will help us.” Gavin smiled and plopped down.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ryan chuckled and sat down. 

They got through most of the practice without anyone tearing a head off, and Ryan was ready for a break.

“What are you going as for Caiti’s party?” Geoff asked.

“I'm being Kazooie for Michael.” Gavin answered, checking his phone.

“Undecided.” Ryan looked down.

“I'm going as a Halo character.” Geoff smiled proudly. “Why don't you know what you wanna go as?”

Ryan shrugged. “A lot of options and I don't wanna be lame. Maybe I'll do my minecraft character.”

Gavin whistled. “Let everyone see your sexy legs.”

Ryan glared and crossed his arms. “My kilt will go to my ankles.”

Geoff giggled. “Aw Rye-bread is shy.” 

“Let's just get back to work.” Ryan sighed and flipped their packets over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! <3


	10. Chapter 10

Ryan was sitting on his bed, looking at the outfit he chose for the party. It was just a black shirt and a kilt, with the added touch of a crown. This wasn't anything to be embarrassed of.

But this could be his chance with Ray. He had to look perfect, even if he was personifying an insane king.

_ It's a stupid idea, you know. Everyone will make fun of you for wearing a skirt. _

“It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.” Ryan said aloud, in a bored tone.

It wasn't the first time he actually responded to the thoughts in his head. Of course, nobody else knew about it. He only did in in private, so nobody would think he's crazy. There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself, Ryan read somewhere that smarter people tend to talk to themselves.

He looked at the clock and sighed. He better get dressed soon, the party did start a half an hour ago.

 

“Ayyooo!” Michael called as he entered the house, holding Gavin close. They had gone through with their plan and got onesies. And damn were they comfortable. Gavin was actually feeling happy, being extra cuddly and romantic with Michael.

They entered and were greeted by Caiti, who was dressed in a blue dress and had a frizzy orange wig on. “Welcome! The blood punch is in the kitchen. Mostly everyone is in the living room.” She smiled brightly.

“Thank you, Ms. Frizzle.” Michael punched her shoulder lightly and they made their way to the living room, where everyone else was.

“Dude sweet Halo costume.” Gavin plopped down next to Geoff.

“Anytime, birdie.” He snickered.

“Sod off. Looks like Michael and I are the only ones who did a couples thing.” The Brit smirked.

“You're not the only ones.” Jack sighed, causing Gavin and Geoff to turn their heads to where Ray and Tina entered.

“Shit.” Gavin looked around. “Where's Ryan?” 

“I think he's bitching out on us because he didn't wanna wear the kilt. Hopefully he doesn't come.” Geoff stood.

“Gavin what the fuck is going on?” Michael tugged on his boyfriend’s sleeve.

“I don't know, why would Ray do something like this?”

Michael rose and walked to Ray and Tina. “So you guys got a couples thing going on?”

Ray shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “Uh no.”

Tina giggled and hugged Ray’s arm. “Oh totally. We can double date with you and Gavin!”

Michael was pulled away just as he clenched a fist, Geoff leading him to the kitchen where Caiti and Lindsay were.

“Woah what's wrong Michael?” Lindsay questioned.

“Tina is gonna fucking ruin them.” Michael was breathing heavy.

Geoff nodded and sighed. “Said they were a couple and they should double date.”

“Oh no guys I'm sorry.” Caiti frowned. “I'm the one that's going to ruin it because I said it was okay to invite her.” She exhaled and shook her head, tears brimming her eyes. “I wanted us all to be friends…” She ran away and went upstairs. 

“Damn it.” Geoff texted Jack what happened, not letting his eyes off Michael. “We can save this. Just gotta keep Ryan away.”

“How the hell are we gonna do that?”

“Can you hurt yourself? We just just go to his house and say you got hurt on the way.” Geoff suggested, desperate.

“Why would you do that?” 

Michael and Geoff froze, turning to see Ryan in the doorway. 

He was wearing a rendition of the mad king outfit, complete with a crooked, cracked crown and a long red plaid kilt. A blush was shading his cheeks. “Is it bad? Should I go home and change?”

Michael opened his mouth to say something when Tina walked in with Griffon. Ryan looked at Tina for a moment, and everything clicked. “Oh.” He slumped down. “I'm gonna run to the restroom.” He started up the stairs, leaving the group downstairs to talk.

On his way up, Barbara came out of Caiti’s bedroom.

“Oh hey Ryan. What are you doing up here?”

“Just need some space and time to think.” He sighed and leaned on the wall. 

“I'm guessing you saw Ray and Tina’s matching outfits.” She rolled her eyes. Well, Ryan didn't see that and now his stomach felt even worse. “I'm sure he’ll come around eventually. Just try and hang in there.” She offered a small smile, patting his shoulder. “Could you go talk to her? She thinks she ruined the party because she invited Tina.” Barbara whispered, then went downstairs.

Ryan blinked, realizing what she meant. He slowly crept to her door, heading soft sniffles coming from the bedroom. He opened the door slowly, seeing Caiti on the floor. He sat down next to her, not really knowing what to say.

“It's all my fault. I thought it would be great to have someone else to have around but I had to go and ruin it.” She looked up at Ryan, her eyes puffy and red. 

“Caiti, you didn't ruin anything. If Ray likes her, then let it be. I'm okay.” He smiled softly. “All I want is for Ray to be happy. I know he was excited to have her join the party. You did a great thing letting her come when everyone else thought it would be a bad idea. It took some guts, and I'm glad you did it.” He chuckled softly. “It's bad enough everyone else walks on eggshells around us.”

She nodded, rubbing her eyes. “Thank you Ryan. I'm still sorry about it.” She breathed out, leaning her head back on her bed. “I hope she doesn't make a big deal about it if they do end up together.”

“Me too.” Ryan stood up and offered his hand to Caiti. She took it and stood beside him, smiling. 

“Let's get back to the party.”

 

The rest of the party went pretty smoothly, after everyone saw Ryan and Caiti were okay. Ryan was able to keep himself distracted when he saw Tina practically clinging to Ray. Though, when she left to get punch he came up behind the gent and snapped a picture.

“Hey!” Ryan blushed and tried to hide himself.

Ray was giggling. “Damn, dude. You are working that kilt like a boss!” He was grinning, watching as Ryan was completely flustered.

Ray backed off and plopped down between Michael and Gavin. “Nice pjs lads.”

Gavin chuckled. “Much more comfy than that suit.”

“I'm a man of my costume.”

Michael watched with uncertainty, knowing how bad this was probably hurting Ryan.

 

Jack and Caiti had made their way onto the front porch swing to talk.

“He swears he’s okay, but I could see it in his eyes, Jack. He looked so sad.”

He rubbed her back soothingly. “We can't get too involved. Otherwise it could make things worse.” He pulled her a little closer and she shivered

“Maybe they aren't even meant to be together. High school relationships don't last anyway.” She sighed, laying into him.

Jack felt his stomach drop a little bit, thinking back to that question.  _ Do you love Caiti? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are appreciated. <3


	11. Chapter 11

“Fucking Christ this is the longest minute in the history of minutes.” Geoff was bouncing in his seat, eager to leave.

After the Halloween party, things pretty much stayed the same. Jack ran and scraped up money for his pills, while trying to mintain a healthy relationship with Caiti. Michael and Gavin wouldn't talk about certain things and did alright. Ryan saw how close Ray and Tina were becoming and backed off. 

Though, he did meet someone himself.

“It's your turn.” The female smiled, looking at Ryan.

“Oh! Sorry. Just a little distracted.” He adjusted the cards in his hand, looking for his next move.

Ryan was currently sitting in the library, playing cards because he didn't exactly want to go home. If he went home he'd think about Ray, get sad, and he a downer probably the entire holiday. 

Not that it mattered anyway. Tensions were running high in his house and his parents were ticking time bombs just begging to explode. And his friends would probably be busy with their families on Christmas, so he'd be trapped inside his house with them.

“Thanks for playing with me, Meg. I know this is probably the last thing you want to do today.”

“It's no problem Ryan. I wasn't doing much anyway.” Her shoulders sagged a bit. “My so called  _ friends  _ have decided to exclude me from everything they do so I'm free.”

“I'm sorry to hear that. People suck.” Ryan frowned.

She laughed at that. “I'm fine. Just shows how shitty people actually are. Oh and by the way, I just won.” 

 

“I don't want to go to bloody England for Christmas.” Gavin crossed his arms. 

“You have to. Otherwise your parents will come here and be pissed off the entire time.”

“They'll be pissed no matter where they are if I'm around.”

“I'm coming too, so just pack it up and let all your friends know so the housesitter doesn't have to deal with them.” 

Gavin shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. Just when he was starting to feel happy again, this happens. 

Michael definitely wouldn't like this. He was excited to finally have Gavin acting a little normal again. And now Gavin was being ripped away, just like over the summer. 

Gavin threw things into his suitcase, knowing it didn't matter what he wore. He would still be disappointing his parents. 

“You're not gonna be back until after school starts?” 

“I'm coming back the 3rd, and probably won't socialize until the 5th.” Gavin attempted a chuckle.

“This fucking sucks. It's like summer all over again.”

“I know Michael. We can still talk. I'll bring my laptop so we can video chat.”

The curly haired lad seemed to perk up a bit at this. “That sounds good. I guess I'll just give you your present when you get back.”

“Michael, you didn't need to get me anything-”

“Doesn't matter! It's all done and paid for. I even wrapped it. So you better like it.”

“If it's from you I will. I gotta go, I'll text you.”

“Bye Gavin.”

Michael hung up and sighed, tossing his phone to the side. It would be a tough holiday without Gavin. 

His soon-to-be stepfather’s family was coming so he had to be around even more people he would probably hate. Nothing in his life could possibly get any worse.

 

Geoff was currently passed out in his empty living room, after having a few too many drinks. He was doing okay for a while, but with the holidays it was getting harder and harder. He wished he could just sleep through it all.

That would mean more punishment from his parents.

They said they would be spending the entire vacation with Geoff, to make themselves look better in the eyes of God. Geoff highly doubted He listened to their bullshit anyway.

All he wanted was some time with his friends for the holidays. But Gavin left and Jack never answered and the rest of them were too busy at the moment. Geoff understood his friends were probably not having a great holiday either, so why couldn't they all just up and leave town for a few days and have their own Christmas? 

Everyone but Gavin and Ray were 16, practically adults. They could start making their own decisions now, right?

 

If you're deciding to lose weight before the holidays, it will prove to be difficult. Even if Jack’s father doesn't want him eating any of the very unhealthy Christmas dinner, he has to let him to make his mother happy.

Jack was out on his run, cursing himself for not pushing harder. He'd lose absolutely all progress if he ate at dinner. There's no way he'd be able to stop after having a taste of it. He went to the pharmacy, eager to get more appetite suppressants when a familiar face popped around the corner.

“Oh hey Jack. Just getting a few things.” Lindsay smiled nervously.

Jack nodded. “Yeah same here.” He tried to hide the pills, but when Lindsay’s expression changed he knew he was in for it.

“So that's why you've started eating again. You can stop yourself. I always had a feeling, you know.” She held up her mouthwash. “Surprisingly nobody's found me out yet. So let's just say you don't say anything and I won't either.”

He raised a brow, not really sure what she was talking about. “I don't get it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can tell you're anorexic. You didn't hide it well.” 

Jack stiffened. “It's not like that. I just cut my caloric intake and exercise to burn off the extra weight.”

“Keep telling yourself that, but you're in with us now. Once you start, you can't stop.” 

Lindsay was freaking Jack out a little bit now. “Who’s ‘us’?” 

She smiled. “The kids who think their too heavy. Who will do absolutely anything to look better.”

“What do you do that's so unhealthy to lose weight?”

“Haven't you ever noticed I run straight to the bathroom anytime I eat? I think I'm labeled as bulimic. Which is why I need the mouthwash. My teeth aren't looking the greatest.”

Jack stepped back. “You have a problem, not me. Let's just both pretend this never happened.”

Lindsay shook her head as he walked away. “Good luck with that!” 

Jack paid and left, wondering what the hell just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a kudos if you haven't already :)
> 
> I'll try to update on or before Friday!


	12. Chapter 12

“Merry Christmas Gavin!” Michael smiled tiredly through the screen.

“Merry Christmas boi. Open presents yet?” Gavin smiled, happy to see his boyfriend since he left.

“Nah dude, too early. I wanted to see you first.” 

Gavin blushed. “I got a sweet new camera! It shoots a crazy amount of frames-”

“Gavin, I love when you ramble on about cameras or whatever, but it is way too early for this.” Michael chuckled.

The two chatted for awhile, until Michael had to leave to actually celebrate Christmas with his soon-to-be family.

Gavin immediately felt awful after the call ended. That was probably the most happiness he'd get all vacation.

So far, he and his mom have gotten into three fights and he's been threatened to be kicked out a dozen times now. Honestly, it was exhausting to have to deal with everyone. He just wants to be back home with all his friends.

But they weren't all together anyway.

 

Ryan had retreated to his room already, texting Meg to distract him. He may have told her a little too much for just becoming friends so soon. She knew a little more than everyone else Ryan called a friend.

Apparently her home life wasn't picture perfect either. Her dad had been raising her on his own for a while and she felt bad. 

In a way, Ryan felt like he could be more open with Meg. Maybe it was because she was a girl and wouldn't make fun of him for having feelings.

That's another thing she knew. Ryan had confessed his crush within an hour of becoming friends with her.

Meg soon learned of Tina and Ray and she knew it was trouble. “She is a backstabber. We used to be friends and then she accused me of talking shit behind her back. I'm just glad I got out of that boat.” She had explained. “We need to get Ray out of that.”

Unfortunately, that would be easier said than done. Ever since that kiss Ryan has been flustered every time he saw Ray. He couldn't just walk up to the lad and say his new girlfriend is a toxic lying cheating-

_ Why does it matter? Maybe he's just as bad. They'd belong together then. _

“Ray isn't like that.” Ryan crinkled his nose. “He's probably in a state of puppy love.”

“Ryan…?” 

Oh. Ryan forgot he and Meg were talking on the phone now. Looks like she's going to hear even more about his fucked up life.   
  


“Merry Christmas Ray.” His mother smiled, kissing his head. “I'm sorry I have to work. I'll be home tonight to make us something.”

“No problem, Ma. Have a good day.” Ray waved as she left, his heart hurting only a little bit. It sucked she had to work, but maybe it could keep her mind off things. 

He decided he'd spend Christmas like any other day, playing video games for hours on end and not socializing with anyone besides the occasional 12 year old online. 

That's what the plan was, until he got a text from Barbara. It said to come to her house. Ray figured it was better than being alone, so he left to go see what the blonde had up her sleeve.

The walk wasn't terrible, not many cars on the road to bother Ray. It made him a little jealous that so many people had loving families to spend the holiday with. All Ray had was a mom whose family cut ties with her after she got pregnant and a dad he's never even seen.

Though, Ray thought about it and decided he would be spending Christmas with his family. He considered all his friends family.

When Barbara answered the door, Ray wasn't surprised to see her in an ugly Christmas sweater.

“Come on in!” Ray walked in and saw Lindsay, Gus, Matt, and Geoff in the living room. “Welcome to Christmas for the people whose families suck.” Barbara plopped down onto the couch. “We’re watching A Christmas Story. It's on all day.”

“And this is only my second time watching it.” Geoff offered a small smile to the lad. Something coming from the kitchen beeped. “Oh! It's the ham!”

Geoff and Barbara left and Ray sat down next to Lindsay. “Why isn't Barbara's parents around?”

She shrugged. “Guess they realized she didn't belong and offered for her to stay here.”

“Didn't ‘belong’?”

“It's not like she's their family. And her parents didn't want her to feel awkward.”

Ray nodded. He knew she was adopted, but it's a little weird to just let your kid at home while you fly across the country.

“Get your asses in here! It's time to eat!” Geoff called from the kitchen.

Lindsay rolled her eyes but stood up and left, Ray following.

Together, Barbara and Geoff made a small ham, mashed potatoes, corn, and even a cherry pie.

 

To be honest, it was quite possibly one of the best Christmas dinners any of them had. They joked and laughed, tossed some food at each other, and sang Christmas songs while they did dishes. Everyone had a great time.

Unfortunately, not all can say the same.

“What the fuck.” Michael had his hands clenched at his sides. 

“Michael Vincent watch your language!” His mother scolded, before looking down at her now fiancé. “Of course I’ll marry you!” Michael stormed up the stairs, pausing at his door. “Oh he’ll come around. I'm sorry your family had to see him get like that.”

Michael slammed the door as hard as he could. “Fucking Christ. What kind of Christmas present is that anyway. I knew they were gonna fucking get married but goddamn did it have to be so soon?” He had texted Gavin during his ramble to himself.

The started a video chat, where Michael retold his Christmas Day to Gavin. “It just fucking sucks. Now he's gonna be forced to act like my fucking father.” He was still fuming.

Gavin rubbed his tired eyes. “Did you get anything you liked for Christmas?”

“A couple of new games. That's about it. Wait isn't it late there? Why are you still up?”

Gavin yawned. “I had a feeling you were going to want to talk about your day.” He smiled. “And plus I was playing video games. Surprised to see Ray hasn't been on.”

“I texted Geoff and I guess they did a thing with Barbara and Lindsay. It was nice they could spend Christmas with their friends rather than sucky parents.” Michael sighed and sat back on his bed.

“Meg said Ryan didn't have a good Christmas either.”

“You still talk to her?”

Gavin shrugged. “Mainly small talk every now and again. It's not like we ever stopped being friends. We broke up in middle school.”

“Yeah, just haven't heard you two talking lately.”

They continued their conversation, ending it around 1:30 am for Gavin. Michael just filled his time by playing some COD with Ray, who must've gotten home after Barbara’s.

 

Jack was panting hard, but still kept pushing. He'd been running on the treadmill for about three hours now. God, everything hurt. But he had to do something. He didn't even eat much at dinner, yet he still felt sick. 

He finally got off and downed a bottle of water, checking his phone for messages. A couple were from Caiti, saying she was coming over soon. Fuck.

Jack hurried up the stairs and hopped into the shower, hoping she is walking so it takes her a while. He dressed and ran downstairs, seeing his mother open the door. 

“Hey Mom I'm here!” Jack smiled at his girlfriend and walked onto the front porch with her. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” She kissed his cheek. “Ready to exchange gifts?”

“Oh crap, mine’s in my room. I’ll go get it.” Jack went back inside and dug through his closet to find the box he'd wrapped it in.

He heard his bed and turned to see Caiti. “Your mom let me in.” She explained.

He nodded and gave her the box. She opened it and laughed. It was a bookmark with a koala that said “You meet all of my Koalafications” with hearts. “This is wonderful!”

She gave him his present and Jack gasped. “Caiti this had to have been expensive!” It was Jack’s Trials character as a figurine. 

She shook her head. “Don't worry about it. Money's no object when it comes to the man I love.” She instantly froze and her eyes met Jack’s.

“You l-love me?” Jack was blushing profusely.

Caiti nodded shyly, biting her lip and looking away to hide her blush.

Jack took her chin in his hand and looked into her eyes with a small smile. “I love you, Caiti. Merry Christmas.” He then pressed his lips against hers.

Caiti smiled and pulled him closer, giggling when they broke away. “Best Christmas ever.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter should be up on or before Monday!
> 
> Next chapter does time skip a few months! I wonder what all happens after Christmas...


	13. Chapter 13

“Wake up.” Michael poked Ray’s side hard for the fifth time now.

“I am awake.” Ray yawned and sat up.

“How the hell do you fall asleep during first period?”

“Stay up until 4 am playing the new Gears of War.”

Michael rolled his eyes and looked over at Barbara. “How's the project coming?”

“Help would've been nice.” She glared at Ray, who just shrugged. “But it's done.”

It wasn't really a surprise that Ray fell asleep in class. It was mid March and everyone was tired of school. Easter break seemed so far away and it felt like ages since Christmas.

Tina and Ray decided to make things official on Valentine's Day, leaving Ryan to stray away from the group. Barbara had joined him and Meg at a table all to themselves so Ryan wouldn't feel so alone. Tina had moved to the main table, everyone only slightly annoyed. They were mad because Ray made Ryan upset, but felt like they had to be nice to her to make Ray happy.

Jack and Caiti were closer than ever, going out on more dates and being more comfortable saying those three words around each other. Jack had lost a considerable amount of weight since the beginning of the school year, and Caiti was proud of him.

Geoff and Griffon hadn't made much progress. They started holding hands but never really talked about what they were. Geoff always chickened out when he went to ask her on a date, but Griffon didn't mind. She was okay with taking things slow rather than falling too hard and fast for something that wouldn't last.

Michael and Gavin were doing better. On the surface, at least. Gavin still forced himself to be happy when around Michael, but at night he hid himself in his room. Michael was avoiding his mom and soon-to-be dad at all costs, not wanting to talk about the marriage proposal. He didn't even know when the wedding would happen. He just wanted to run away and never have to deal with their bullshit.

Ryan was just peachy. Sure, he had his heart ripped out, but that's nothing some ice cream can't fix. He and Meg had become closer friends, even Barbara loved talking to her. He helped Gavin and Geoff with their schoolwork, keeping his own grades up for the most part.

The only hard part was Spanish. Luckily, they weren't partners anymore, but it was still hard to see him without wanting to playfully flirt. He had to respect Ray’s decision to date her.

This weekend, the guys and gals were having a big sleepover at Gavin’s house since his aunt would be out of town. Everyone was a little on edge, since Ryan and Ray had barely been in the same room alone since he and Tina got together.

And he also asked permission to invite Meg, to which Gavin happily accepted considering they were friends as well. It would give them a chance to actually catch up rather than the occasional text.

 

“Come on, wouldn't you rather stay here with me?” Tina pouted.

“It's been awhile since we’ve all gotten to hang out. I wanna see what Gav has in store.” Ray grabbed a hoodie and put it on. Boy, it was awfully big for his small frame. He looked down at it and noticed it was Ryan’s. Huh. He must've left it here after a game night. Oh well, it fit Ray enough.

Tina huffed and grabbed Ray’s arm. “Then let’s go!”

Ray sighed quietly to himself and left a note for his mom, walking to Gavin’s house with Tina.

It's not that she was a bad girlfriend, she was just awfully possessive, Ray told himself. Being a little clingy never hurt anyone. He did feel like she was taking too much time away from him hanging out with his friends. He'd have to talk to her about it.

“Jeez, Gavin your house seems even bigger than I remember,” Meg commented as she looked around.

Gavin shrugged. “We had more stuff then I think. Back when my cousins lived here, too. Now it's just me and my aunt.”

She nodded and took a seat next to Caiti. “How are things with Jack?” She asked wearily, attempting small talk.

Caiti hummed in response. “Great, really. Thank you for asking.” She smiled, lowering her voice. “And thank you for helping Ryan. I'm sure it's been tough for him.”

Meg nodded, turning to see Ryan walk in. He offered her a small wave and went to the kitchen.

They all sat around the tv and watched a movie, everyone keeping their thoughts to themselves. Ray and Tina were on the complete opposite side of the room as Ryan, but he could still see them. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Ray wearing one of his hoodies, but looked away when Tina climbed into his lap.

“Not in my living room.” Gavin threw a pillow at Ray.

“We can do it in the bathroom.” Tina winked and giggled, everyone else shifting uncomfortably.

“Not in my house. Period.” Gavin sat a little straighter, his tone becoming harsh.

“We can always go to my house.” Her eyes narrowed. “Doesn't seem like Ray is having much fun here anyways.”

Michael stood, and Gavin grabbed his arm. “Doesn't Ray have a say in this?” Michael growled.

“I'm having a great time hanging with you guys again. Tina, no offense, but you are kinda ruining it.”

“Whatever. Fuck you guys.” She stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Ray sighed. “Fuck, I'm sorry guys. I don't get why she doesn't like you.”

“Don't be.” Meg said, quietly. “She's probably acting out because I'm here. Bitch can hold a grudge.”

Ray bit his lip and excused himself, walking into the kitchen where Jack was. “Uh.. know what you're getting or can I go?”

“Oh! Sorry, Ray.” Jack moved away from the fridge.

“I'm guessing you didn't see what just went down. Tina left, though.”

“Thank god.” Jack mumbled to himself, swiping a bottle of water. “You need to cheer up. How about some jumbo Twister?”

Ray laughed. “How the hell do you play that?”

It was just two Twister mats side-by-side, able to fit more people. Caiti, Lindsay, Ryan, Jack, and Michael sat out first and let everyone else play.

Barbara and Ray were out pretty early, Meg trying to coax Gavin into falling. “Gavin! Michael is doing that cute thing you love!”

“What?” Gavin turned to look towards the couch, losing his balance. “Bloody hell.” He grumbled, squirming away.

“Watch it! You almost knocked me down.” Geoff pouted.

It was down to Geoff, Griffon, and Meg. Geoff attempted to show off but ended up falling, causing the remaining girls to laugh and almost fall.

Griffon ended up winning, and Meg shook her hand as they stood. “Well played.” Meg smiled.

Griffon grinned and nodded. “You too.”

“Who wants a little spin the bottle truth or dare addition!” Ray called excitedly.

“God, Ray is that all you ever want to play?” Michael rolled his eyes.

“I like the idea. Just nothing dirty.” Caiti wrinkled her nose in disgust.

They all sat around in a circle, Gavin finding a plastic bottle of soda to spin. Ray went first, the bottle landing on Lindsay.

“Truth or dare?” Ray asked.

“I'm gonna be the wuss and say truth.”

“Damn alright. Uhh, fuck I don't know. Who was your first crush?”

“Michael.” She admitted. “Way back in like elementary school when our parents taught us to be straight.

“I totally called it!” Geoff yelled. “Jack, I'm pretty sure you owe me a thousand dollars.”

The gent rolled his eyes. “That was how many years ago. I didn't have a concept of numbers.”

The game continued on, only a few people actually picking dares. Not wanting to get too deep, everyone kept the truths light.

The game came to an end, and everyone called it a night. The girls all slept in the guest bedroom, while the boys spread out across the living room.

In the middle of the night, Barbara got up to use the bathroom and patiently waited for whoever was inside.

“Jesus Christ you scared the hell out of me.” Ray confessed, clutching his heart and holding onto the doorframe.

“Sorry. Can't believe someone was actually in here at 4 am.” The were both silent, the air tense between them. “Why are you wearing that?”

“Huh? Oh. First thing I grabbed and I didn't have time to change. Tina was already making us late enough.”

“How is that going? You and Tina.”

He shrugged. “Good, I guess. We hang out a lot and she's a little clingy but I guess it's better than her ignoring me all the time.”

She nodded, keeping her thoughts to herself. “We better soon get back to sleep. Gotta rest up for bowling later.”

Ray nodded. “Yeah.” He went back to lie with Michael and Gavin, his thoughts running a little too wild for him to fall asleep anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a kudos if you haven't already, and comments never go unnoticed!
> 
> Also, I have a tumblr if anyone cares. It's asimplenightmare-ao3 
> 
> Next chapter should be up on or before Thursday!


	14. Chapter 14

It was a beautiful spring day, and Michael was ready to kill someone.

He was sitting at the main table at his mother’s reception. She was officially married. Michael was surrounded by people he either barely knew or never even seen before in his life. And he was alone. His phone was back at his house so he was stuck with constantly stabbing his fork into the cake.

His mother came over to him and sat down. “Honey, I know this is hard.”

“I'm not calling him Dad.” Michael said, coldly.

She sighed. “His kids aren't going to be living with us. So that's a plus. Just make an effort, please? It's not going to get any easier if you stay angry forever.” She stood up and held out her hand. “Come dance with me?”

Michael looked at her. She had the soft smile on her face, the one Michael always remembered from when he was a kid. He took her hand and stood, her leading them to the dance floor.

 

Geoff took a hearty sip of his whiskey, smiling. He was already feeling buzzed and man was it great. His parents were recently in for the week, Geoff having the memories and scars to prove it.

They've gotten worse. Before it was just them hitting him, but now they started throwing things at him. The glass was still covering the kitchen floor, but Geoff didn't care. It wasn't his problem right now.

What his problem would be, is the current knocking on the door. He grumbled and answered it, surprised to see Barbara standing before him. “Hey Geoff.” She smiled. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

Geoff was hit with a wave of emotions. He stumbled backwards, grasping the wall for support. He heard Barbara say something, but couldn't quite make out what it was. He was sobbing now. “Oh God what have I done!” He cried.

“Geoff it's okay I'm here. Do you want me to call someone?”

“Get Jack.” He sniffled, hugging his legs.

Fifteen minutes later, a huffing and puffing Jack entered the Ramsey household. “What's wrong?” He asked Barbara, who just shook her head. He leaned down next to Geoff. “Is it the memories?” He nodded, Jack sighing and sitting down. “It's okay. You had a bad week and went to the drinks to cope, which wasn't good. But now your friends are here.” Geoff nodded, gasping for air.

Barbara handed him a glass of water. “I can spend the night or you can come to mine.”

Geoff clung to Jack. “C-can I g-go to y-y-yours?” He hiccuped.

She nodded and rubbed his back.

After he'd calmed down, he went to his room to pack an overnight bag. Jack shook his head. “I gotta go, will you be alright?”

“I should be. Jack, he's been bad before but this is new to me.”

“You're usually around for the aftermath. He gets pretty bad panic attacks when realization sets in.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck and blew out. “I hate to ruin my date night, but I think Caiti and I are going to come here tonight and clear the place of alcohol.”

“I would, but it's just me for the weekend. And now Geoff. Should we do something?”

“I was thinking maybe someone stays with him from now on. He is 16, he could technically move out.”

She snorted. “With what money?”

“We’ll figure something out. Call me if you need. Okay?” He then left, leaving Barbara to deal with the very emotional Geoff.

 

“I hate to say this, but you have to get a job.”

Gavin looked up at his aunt. “Why the bloody hell would I have to do that?”

“I can barely even support myself at this point, let alone a teenager.”

“What about all the money you got from the divorce?”

“College funds.” She rolled her eyes. “By that time you'll be back home.”

Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not going back there if I can help it.”

“Whatever you say. Just look for a job, okay? I'm not having you lay around all summer.”

“Oh so you're not shipping me off back home to mommy and daddy for the summer?”

“Keep up that attitude and you'll be back living there forever.” She turned and walked away, Gavin sighing.

He hadn’t meant to sound so mean. His aunt has done so much for him since even before he moved in with her. He shouldn't be disrespectful towards her. It wasn't fair.

He went back to doing his work, checking his phone constantly. He knew the wedding was today, and he thought Michael would’ve texted him at least once.

Instead, he received a text from Meg. She wanted him to meet her at the park. If Gavin was already distracted, might as well keep in touch with other people.

He spotted Meg fairly easily, her purple hair sticking out amongst all the middle aged women’s hair. She lead him into the woods by a lake and sat down.

“I just needed someone to talk to, and I figured you'd be free.” She ran her hands along the dirt.

“I was just doing schoolwork, but it can wait. What's up?”

“I'm worried about Ryan. I feel like the whole Ray and Tina thing just set something off inside of him.”

“He has been a bit more distant lately. He needs to get over him already.”

She sighed. “I don't think he really has his eyes set on anyone else.”

“I feel like he's honestly pitying Ray more. Tina is pretty aggressive with him. Do you think Ray is in trouble?”

She nodded, picking up a rock and tossing it into the water. “How's Michael?”

He shrugged. “Hasn't texted me lately. I don't know what that could mean. Maybe the wedding went better than he thought.”

“I hope so.” She looked at Gavin and smiled softly. “I'm glad you two are happy.”

Gavin nudged her and smiled back. “I'm glad we're talking again. I guess going into high school did a number on us.”

“Yeah.” She laughed. “I got in with the wrong crowd for sure. But now I've got friends who will always be there for me.”

“Always.” Gavin tossed a handful of pebbles into the water.

 

“Jack, we can't let him live like this.” Caiti said, placing another empty bottle into the bag.

“I know. But I don't know what else we could do.” He sighed, finishing sweeping up the broken glass.

“My dad is always looking for kids to wash the fire trucks. It could be a small start to saving up for an apartment.”

“So he gets an apartment but then what? He will still be living alone. I don't want to get a call at four in the morning asking for me to come over.”

“Maybe Grif will move in with him.”

Jack shot a questioning look at her. “Griffon’s parents would be okay with that?”

“Her home life isn't the best.” Caiti bit her lip. “I guess that wouldn't be a good thing if they haven't started dating yet. I'd hate for them to get into a fight.”

He nodded and stood up. “I think that's all the alcohol. I can take it outside.” He grabbed the other bag and walked outside, Caiti starting to clean up the living room.

Hopefully Geoff would soon be out of this mess. He deserved so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> Next chapter should be up on or before Sunday!


	15. Chapter 15

“The perfect spot.” Jack smiled proudly, laying the blanket down. He had chosen a grassy area near the water, privately surrounded by trees in the distance. It was mid May, and Jack and Caiti decided to have a well deserved real (and completely private) date.

They sat down and pulled out the food. It was just ham and cheese sandwiches, a couple of Hi-C’s, and two cupcakes for dessert. Hopefully Jack could handle it all, he had taken a few appetite suppressants before the date.

Now wasn't the time to think about that, though. Today was about Jack and Caiti. Nobody bothering them, nobody calling for a dumb reason, no thinking about how terrible bread is for you (not to mention the sugary kids drinks). Just a lovely day all the themselves. 

“I'm so happy we can finally do this.” Caiti smiled, placing her hand on Jack’s. “With absolutely nothing else on our minds.”

“Me too.” Jack sighed, happily. “It's been way too long.” He took both of her hands and kissed the backs of them, causing Caiti to giggle. 

“You're too sweet.” She leaned in and kissed him, slow and soft. 

He pulled her closer and held her in his lap. “You're the sweetest.” He kissed behind her ear and nuzzled into her neck. 

She blushed and leaned against him, looking out at the peaceful lake. Everything was so calm, so meant to be. 

“It's so beautiful here. I love you so much, Jack.”

He smiled and kissed her. “And I love you Caiti.”

Later, they would marvel at the stars and wonder what it would be like to travel the galaxies. Maybe someday.

 

“Alright. It's me, Michael, and Ryan against Gavin, Griffon and Meg.” Geoff explained.

“What? Why can't Michael and I be on a team together?” Gavin whined.

“Because I wanna actually win.” Geoff grinned, turning back to the safety video.

Gavin huffed and Griffon ruffled his hair, whispering, “Don't worry, I know how to get him back.” She grinned mischievously.

Gavin nodded in return, readying up his gun. The group was released into the field, Gavin and his teammates making their way to their respective side. 

The game began, and Ryan moved up immediately to scope out the area. Michael and Geoff kept an eye on the area above them, making sure nobody was camping.

Michael heard a noise and turned to see Gavin had tripped. “Nice try.” He smirked, barely stepping out of his cover to shoot his boyfriend. Gavin scrambled away quickly, shaking his head at Meg.

Griffon had in fact gone upstairs and shot Ryan while he was moving. She hid quickly and stifled a laugh when he looked around, clearly confused as to who the hell just shot him. 

Geoff had moved up with Ryan, and peaked out just in time to shoot Meg and Gavin. He laughed, knowing Gavin had one shot left until he was out. 

Meg action rolled over and shot at Geoff, taking cover just before Ryan could get to her. Michael spotted Griffon upstairs and moved to Geoff and Ryan to let them know.

“I’ll go up, just cover me.” Michael and Ryan nodded, looking out as Geoff ran to the stairs.

“Michael please!” Gavin pleaded, knowing he was fully exposed.

Michael stared him down, moving closer. He was a few feet away and smirked down at the Brit. “Nah.” He took his final shot, ending Gavin’s playing time. He sulked out of the area and into the spectating room.

Geoff had been shot twice upstairs, but for the life of him could not find Griffon. He found himself in a corner so he cursed and turned, coming face to face with the blonde herself. “Going somewhere?”

Geoff gulped and held up his gun. Griffon grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him in one swift move. Geoff was so surprised, he dropped his gun and kissed back. He closed his eyes and heard a beeping noise. He opened his eyes to see Griffon running away and laughing. He pouted and joined Gavin.

“Damn, I think we lost Geoff.” Ryan looked around.

“Shit. She's probably got all her lives. We gotta get up there.”

“I think Meg only has one life left.”

“Let's run past her and shoot on the way. I think we got this.” Michael took a deep breath and made a break for the stairs.

Ryan followed quickly, stopping to shoot Meg. He waved and ran upstairs as she stormed off.

Michael peeked out from behind his cover. “Come here you sly blonde. Where the hell is she?”

Ryan took a shot, but missed. “Damn.” They looked around, staying very alert. Michael got shot and made his signature choking noises. Ryan leaned down and held him in his lap. “No Michael, don't you leave me!” He cried, giggling.

“Kill her.. for me.” Michael made himself go limp.

Ryan stood and roared, “You monster!” He shot frantically in all directions, cheering when he heard he got a shot. “Alpha two wins!”

“Nice try.” Griffon erupted from the smoke, pointing directly at Ryan’s chest. “I had two lives left.” She shot, and the game was over.

The six piled into Meg’s dad’s van, on their way to dinner. 

“How the hell did you do so well?” Geoff questioned.

Griffon laughed. “It was easy. I camped.”

“Cheater.” Michael scowled.

Gavin stuck his tongue out at him. “You're just jealous that we won.”

“At least we didn't die within five seconds.” Ryan joked.

Gavin crossed his arms over his chest, clearly annoyed. Michael wrapped an arm around him and he felt a little better.

They arrived at the pizza place and went in to order. They all sat at a circular corner booth and split three pizzas. Meg’s dad sat with one of his friends who happened  to also be there.

“I hope Jack and Caiti are having a nice time.” Meg admitted, sipping her soda.

“I'm sure they are. A break from us is the best anniversary gift we could have given them.” 

“Gavin, their anniversary was like two months ago.” Michael shook his head.

Gavin shrugged. “Better late than never.”

Geoff had his arm around Griffon, laughing along with the group. She smiled up at him, silently grateful nobody was making a big deal about it.

 

“This is fun!” Barbara smiled, looking to Lindsay who was lining up her shot.

“Yeah, the lights are super pretty.” Lindsay putted her ball, beaming when it went in. “Hole in one!”

Barbara draped an arm around her. “Glow in the dark mini golf is the best!”  

The game ended with Lindsay winning by ten strokes. “Michael and I went mini golfing with Ray and Geoff when we were younger.”

“Explains why you kicked my butt.”

The girls went back up to the counter to return their putters, when Lindsay stopped Barbara. “Hey, isn't that Jeremy?”

The blonde took a closer look and gasped. “He's with Trevor, and they're holding hands?”

Lindsay busted out laughing. “So you mean to tell me that the badass homophobes are  _ dating? _ ” 

Barbara took Lindsay's arm and walked over to them. Jeremy froze and dropped Trevor’s hand instantly. “Wh-what the hell are you guys doing this far out of town?”

“Needed a new mini golfing course.” Lindsay arched an eyebrow. “What about you guys?”

Trevor faintly muttered, “Might as well tell them.”

Jeremy sighed. “Fine. Trevor and I are dating.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You got a problem with that?”

Barbara chuckled. “Dude like all my friends are gay. If you don't want people to find out, your secret is safe with us.”

Lindsay added, “As long as you stop degrading people who like the same sex.”

Jeremy blew out. “Okay! Just don't tell anyone, not even your friends.”

“You'll be fine.” Barbara assured, smiling. “It was nice seeing you.” She dragged Lindsay outside. 

“Huh. How about that.”

“Yeah.” Barbara nodded, getting into Lindsay's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a nice, lighthearted chapter
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated! Next update on or before Wednesday!


	16. Chapter 16

“Fucking finally.” Geoff smirked at Gavin, poking him. “Dude. It's summer! Why aren't you excited?”

Gavin shrugged. “Just tired I guess. You wanna come over?”

“I can’t, gotta go to work.” Geoff shut his locker.

“How's that going by the way?” 

“Good, actually. I'm getting a lot of money saved up. Hopefully I can move out soon.” He sighed.

“Move out?” 

Geoff cursed under his breath. He forgot that not all his friends knew. “Yeah, you know. I'm home alone all the time anyway. Might as well get a smaller place.”

“But you’d have to pay all the bills.” Gavin frowned. “I've been saving up a little too. I keep all my tips back.”

“Dude nice.”

“I could move in with you! It would give me an excuse to never go back to England!”

“That'd be sweet! Let's totally move in together!” Geoff’s eyes lit up. 

They parted ways and Gavin met up with Ray, who was standing on the corner.

“Ray! It feels like I haven't seen you in forever!” Gavin hugged Ray tightly.

“Oh yeah, it's been a while.” He hugged back.

Gavin took a step back and really looked at Ray. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, and he was slouching. It looked like he had a bruise on his cheek, but his dark complexion made it hard to tell. “Ray… are you okay?”

“Yeah, dude. I'm good. Top, as you would say.” 

“I can see right through that fake smile, you know. You can tell me what’s going on.” He looked into Ray’s eyes, desperate for him to spill the truth.

Ray opened his mouth to say something, but someone clearing their throat caught his attention. He turned and saw an impatient Tina. “Oh! Hey. Line must've been pretty short.”

“Yeah. It was.” She grabbed his wrist, a little too tightly. “We better get going!” She said through gritted teeth. 

Gavin waved as they left, not knowing how to help his friend. He sighed and kicked a rock. He was useless to his friends.

He decided to head home, not feeling like bothering anyone else just to keep him company. His phone buzzed in his pocket, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw the text.

**My boi <3: i need you**

**My boi <3: come to the swings. im already there**

 

“We’re very sorry, but there isn't much we can do. With treatment you will live longer, but only a few months.”

Michael was shaking. How could this be happening? His mother was  _ dying _ in front of him. She could be gone tomorrow. He had to make up for everything he did in the past.

“Sweetie, we’re not telling David about this, right?”

“ _ What _ ? I think the guy at least deserves to know that his wife is going to fucking die.”

“Watch your language.” She sighed. “I'm so sorry, Michael.” Tears were forming in her eyes.

“Mom… cancer sucks.” Michael sucked in a breath, trying to keep himself composed. “I can't lose you!” 

“I know.” She bit her lip, pulling off onto a dirt road and parking the car. She turned to Michael. “Whatever happens to me, you have to be strong. Don't leave David alone in this. You're going to need him. He's going to need you. He's an amazing father.”

“I don't want you to die being disappointed in me.” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “I’ll make an effort, Mom. I promise you.” He held out his pinkie.

She locked her pinkie with his and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Michael.”

“I love you too.” He hugged her as best he could over the console, burying his head into her neck. 

On the way back home, he texted Gavin. “You can just drop me off at the swings. So you can tell David in private.”

“Thank you sweetie, but are you sure?”

He nodded, getting out as she stopped. He kissed her cheek and walked over to the swings, taking in a deep breath. 

Gavin appeared in less than ten minutes, and he ran when he saw the state Michael was in. “What's wrong? What happened?” He hugged him tightly.

Michael buried his head in Gavin’s chest. “She's dying, and I can't stop it.”

Once he settled down a little, Gavin sat on the swing next to him and let Michael explain everything.

“I guess if they diagnosed it sooner she could've lived.” He looked down. “But I guess the type of cancer she has has low survival rates to begin with.”

“I'm so sorry. Does her husband know?”

“She's going to tell him now.” Michael kicked at the dirt.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it? Meg’s mom died when she was younger but she might be able to help.”

“I don't know.” Michael scratched the back of his neck. “I think it's a little weird since you two dated.”

Gavin chuckled. “She's moved on, Michael. She doesn't hold silly grudges.”

Michael sighed. “I guess I can talk to her. It's probably better than bottling everything up.”

Gavin texted and asked if her and Michael could talk. She said to come to Ryan’s house, since she was already over there.    
  


Jack woke up in an unfamiliar place. God, it was bright. He slowly sat up and realized he was in the woods. How the hell did he get here?

“Oh, he's awake!” 

Jack knew that voice. He turned his head and saw Barbara and Griffon.

“Jack, what happened?” Barbara asked, leaning down next to him.

“I… I don't know. I remember being on my usual run, I was feeling a little dizzy, and now I'm here.”

Griffon shook her head. “You might be dehydrated. Do you have any water?”

“I usually have some, guess it slipped my mind.”

Barbara handed him a bottle and he happily accepted it. “What if we didn't find you?”

“I'm fine. I woke up on my own,” he snapped. The girls were taken aback. Jack winced. “I'm sorry. Thank you for the water.” He finished the bottle.

“No problem.” Barbara stood up, looking at Griffon. “Guess we better get going.”

Griffon nodded, taking a final look at Jack before catching up to Barbara.

Jack decided that he should probably get home. It was getting late for him to be out. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what happened. He was definitely not dehydrated, he practically lives on water. He took an appetite suppressant, so he didn't need to eat breakfast. But that shouldn't have affected him already.

He got home and said hi to his mom, thankful his dad wasn't home. He went up to his room and was shocked to see Caiti sitting on his bed. “Oh, hey Caiti. I'm gonna hop in the shower quick.”

“Jack.” She looked at him sternly. “What the hell are these?” She uncovered the box of appetite suppressants in her lap.

 

“You guys wanna play something? I have Mario party!” Ryan said, a little too cheerily as his friends entered his room. Meg was playing a game on his PlayStation, smiling when she saw the three walk in. Michael kept silent, not exactly comfortable with spilling his home life to the guy. 

Gavin sat down on the foot of the bed, pulling Michael down next to him. Ryan took a spot down by Meg and she continued to play The Last of Us. 

Gavin and her made small talk, Ryan chiming in every now and again. Michael kept to himself, leaning on Gavin. He was tired. Hearing the news really drained everything out of him. And now she was at home, probably miserable because she has to be the one to break it to David. At least Michael had a doctor to tell him.

“Nice shot!” Gavin smiled, patting Meg’s head.

“Thanks! It's not easy getting headshots.” She chuckled.

Downstairs, a slamming door could be heard. Muffled voices came and soon began the yelling. Ryan tensed up, turning on his stereo. Meg remained quiet, keeping her focus on the game.

Gavin tilted his head and opened his mouth, but Michael’s hand on his made him shut it.

The yelling seemed to stop after another door slammed. Ryan scratched at the back of his head. “Sorry about that…”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Michael sighed. “I guess it's time to talk about why we really came here. My mom has cancer. And she's only been given a few months to live.”

Ryan looked up at him with wide eyes, and Meg rested a hand on his knee. “I'm sorry Michael.”

“What's it like? You know, after she's gone?”

Meg thought for a moment. “I was pretty young, so I don't remember much. I wasn't there when she died. My dad just came home and sat outside for a while. My grandma knew what happened, and tried explaining it to me. She took me and my dad out for ice cream, and my dad smiled. But after that he just kinda sat around, always sad. We lived with my grandma for a couple years. One day, I was probably about 13 at the time, she showed us a tape my mom left. And then my dad got back on his feet.” She drew in a deep breath, wiping her eyes. “It was a lot harder when I learned she committed suicide. At least you know she's going to die so you can prepare.”

Michael stood up and hugged her tightly. 

That night Michael made a list of things he needed to say to his mom, and activities they could do before he lost her for good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Michael...
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appriciated <3


	17. Chapter 17

“They're helping me lose weight.” Jack said, trying to keep his voice level.

Her eyes narrowed, setting the box aside and standing up. “You really think taking drugs is the best way to lose weight? And here I was proud of you for exercising, I should've known something was up when you weren't eating.”

“Caiti I'm sorry. I needed something to help me. I tried dieting and exercising, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't eating at all and it was terrible on my health. But now that I have these I actually eat. And I'm seeing results.”

Caiti sighed. “If they're fine, why were they hiding in your closet?”

“I didn't want my dad to be disappointed.”

“What about me?”

Jack looked at her, realizing she hadn't even crossed his mind when he bought them. He was losing weight for his dad, and Caiti? Fuck if he knew. Why didn't he want her finding them? They weren't bad. Then why did he feel guilty?

“Jack, I can see you thinking.” She grabbed his hands and kissed the back of them. “As long as they're healthy and safe, I guess it's okay. But I don't want you hurting yourself.” She frowned.

Jack thought back to when he passed out in the woods. Totally healthy. “Thank you.” He kissed her forehead. 

She smiled. “Come on, let's go somewhere.”

 

“Where are you headed to so soon?” Ray rolled over in his bed sleepily.

Tina clicked her tongue, buttoning up her shirt. “I have family things to go do.” She rolled her eyes.

“Will you be back tonight?”

She smiled, shaking her head. “I’ll be gone all weekend.”

“That's fine. I’ll probably hang out with the guys then.” He grabbed his phone and started scrolling.

“Why would you do that?”

“It's been awhile since I've hung out with them. You've kinda pulled me away from them.” He instantly regretted the words once they left his tongue.

“ _ I'm  _ the one pulling you away? Ray, you chose to not go out when they asked.”

“Only because you would bitch and whine until I said no.”

“I never fucking did that, Ray.”

“Bullshit!” He stood up, pointing at her. “It was always ‘do you really wanna hang out with those disgusting boys? I'll be all alone if you do!’ You wanna know why you're alone, Tina? You're a fucking shitty friend and an even shittier girlfriend!”

The back of her hand connected with his cheek and Ray stepped back, fuming. “Get the fuck away from me and never come back. We’re done.”

Tina huffed and turned on her heel, the door slamming behind her. A few minutes later Ray’s mom was knocking on his door. “Honey? Are you okay?” 

Ray sighed and opened the door. “Why am I such a shitty person?” He hugged her and cried into her chest. His mother started laughing, but it wasn't her laugh. He looked up to see Ryan.

“Why didn't you want me, Ray? I loved you and now we can never be together. You broke my heart.” 

Before Ray could say anything, Ryan was leaving. He was getting further and further away. And Ray was falling. Everything around him was white.

Ray’s eyes popped open and his breathing was heavy. He looked around to see that he was in his room, Tina asleep beside him. It was just a dream.

But it seemed so fucking real. It's true, he liked Tina. But lately she's been possessive and clingy. Ray hasn't been able to leave her sight for more than a few hours. 

Though, the slap was interesting. She’d occasionally bat at his arm when he said something she didn't like. She’d never hit him, though.

Ray shook his head. It was just a dream.

 

“Why can't we hang out today?” Gavin asked, his voice quiet.

“I have plans with my mom. I'm sorry Gavin, but I have to make things right.”

“By never seeing your own boyfriend?”

Michael sighed audibly through the phone. “Please Gavin, we can do something this weekend. I just need the week.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Alright. Have fun.”

The line clicked dead before Michael could respond.

Gavin breathed out, looking up at his ceiling. It's been a week since Michael’s mother’s diagnosis and he and Gavin have been drifting apart. Gavin felt awful for him, but felt jealous as well. It wasn't fair that an illness ripped him away from Gavin.

He texted Ryan and asked if he could come over. He knew Geoff was busy and didn't want to bother Jack, plus Ray never hangs out with them anyway.

Ryan appeared in his doorway, after some light conversation with Gavin’s aunt. “Everything okay?” He walked in and plopped onto the floor.

Gavin shrugged. “I miss Michael.”

He nodded, resting his back against Gavin’s bed. “I know that feeling.” Ryan sighed. “He's going through a rough patch right now though. I’m sure things will settle out soon.”

“I don't know how to help him when it happens. I've never been good with death.” Gavin admitted. “I've been trying to plan out how to get out of it, but it seems pointless.”

“You have to be there for him, Gavin.”

“I know.” He said quietly. “Wanna play some Halo?”

Ryan nodded, grabbing a controller.

“We really need another guys night. I don't think I've seen Jack all summer.”

Ryan agreed, “Maybe Ray will be able to come out this time.”

Gavin looked at Ryan. “You're still not over him, are you?”

Ryan looked away. “It's not that. I just think he's in a toxic relationship.”

“I think he’s just happy he has a girlfriend.” Gavin shrugged. 

Ryan remained quiet, not wanting to get into yet another deep conversation. 

_ He's only doing it to get in your head. He wants you to suffer because he knows how silly your little crush is. Did you honestly think everyone in your friend group would bang each other? Life doesn't work that way, Ryan. _

“Hey can we turn some music on?”

Gavin tilted his head but turned on his stereo anyway.

 

“Hey thanks man.” Geoff smiled, waving to the guy walking off his front porch. He shut the door and went upstairs to his room, setting the case of beer on his nightstand. “Gus, you motherfucker are the best person in the world right now.”

Geoff grinned and opened a bottle up, taking a long swig. He had a long week of being told what to do and what not to do. He deserved this.

He hid the rest of the case under his bed, not wanting to drink it all so quickly. He needed to save some of his money from work, after all.

He sat on his bed and thought about things. He and his friends hadn't hung out all summer, and Gavin hadn't even gone to England. He decided to text Ray, knowing he was probably not busy.

**Geoff: hey man**

**Ray: hey?**

**Geoff: why the question mark**

**Ray: idk just seems weird for you to be texting me**

**Geoff: i wanna hang out**

**Geoff: you free this Saturday?**

**Ray: i should be. ur place?**

**Geoff: maybe someone else’s**

**Geoff: i’ll text the others**

**Ray: cool**

**Ray: and thanks for texting me. i miss you**

Geoff smiled. He was glad he could get Ray out of his house. He texted everyone else to see if they wanted to hang out. 

Surprisingly, everyone agreed it's been too long. They decided on Gavin’s house, since it was the biggest. And his aunt would be out of town, so they'd have the whole house to themselves for the weekend.

A knock on the front door brought Geoff back to reality. All his friends knew they were hanging out, so who was at his door?

He went downstairs, stumbling a bit, and opened the door. Griffon was standing in front of him, a light blush on her cheeks.

“Hey Griffon.” Geoff smiled.

“Hi Geoff. Can-can we talk?”

Geoff tensed up, closing the door and walking over to the front porch. 

They sat down, neither of them speaking. Until they both decided to talk at the same time.

“I was thinking-” “So, what did you-”

“Sorry, go ahead.” Geoff bit his lip.

“I was just wondering… what are we? Like we kissed and held hands-haven't really talked since then- but now what?”

Geoff leaned back. “I like you, I really do. But I didn't think you'd want to be with someone as fucked up as me.”

Griffon laughed. “Geoff, I like you no matter what. I'm fucked up too.”

Geoff smiled. “Griffon, do you wanna go out with me?”

She nodded, blushing. “Of course!”

“But it can't be this weekend. Me and the guys are hanging out.”

Griffon giggled. “As long as you promise we’ll actually go out.”

“I promise.” Geoff kissed her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly sorry for the very late update! School has begun and with work I haven't been home a lot. I'll try to update at least once a week
> 
> <3


	18. Chapter 18

“I'm not fucking playing monopoly.” Ray crossed his arms over his chest.

Gavin and Geoff giggled. “Oh, fine. We won't make you play that.”

“Thank Christ.” Michael muttered.

Gavin was still deciding on a game for everyone to play, not really knowing what to pick. It's been ages since they've had a game night, but he felt it was too soon to play Life again. 

“We could talk about our feelings.” Geoff offered. The ‘no’ he got in unison made Geoff slump back. “Well, fucking, I don't know. It's like we don't hang out for a few months and we all forget how to be goddamn friends.”

The others looked at Geoff in a slight shock. “Geoff… are you okay?” Jack asked cautiously.

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” Geoff sighed. “I’d just like to maybe talk about stuff. Like Michael has shit going on and nobody's seen Ray for a year, and like why the fuck Gavin is still here. Shouldn't your parents have scooped you up to go to England?”

Gavin shook his head, sitting next to Geoff on the couch. “My aunt talked them out of it since I always get in trouble there. Which I'm glad for, so I can be with you guys.” He smiled.

“It's July and we’re just now hanging out.” Ryan shook his head. “Maybe we do suck.”

“Let's not say that about ourselves. Lives get busy, you know. But maybe we should make a little more of an effort to stay in touch.” Michael suggested.

“Yeah, like how Geoff texted me out of the blue and asked to hang out. It made me happy that someone was looking out for me.” Ray chimed in.

“We are definitely having the talk with you about Tina.” Geoff warned.

Ray shrunk. “What talk?” Ray knew the talk all too well. They called it the "hoes before bros talk".

“Oh you know.” Michael glared.

Ray gulped and sighed. “It's not Tina’s fault that I haven't been hanging out with you guys. It's been my choice.”

“That's bullshit. You don't just up and leave your friends like that, Ray.” Everyone looked to see Ryan had made the outburst. “You're letting her guilt trip you into thinking you'd much rather worship the ground she walks on than be away from her for two seconds.” 

Ray looked down and ran his thumbs over each other. “Maybe you guys are right… like, it's not the same anymore. I don't know what it even used to be. Maybe I felt guilty for sleeping with her last summer and that's why I dated her. But I don't feel anything. It doesn't hurt when it should and I’m never happy around her. I'm so sorry, I'm a piece of shit.” 

“Don't say that, Ray.” Gavin hugged him gently.

“Yeah, dude. You got caught up in feelings and shit.” Geoff hugged around Gavin and Ray. Michael and Jack joined in, Ryan following soon after.

The six sat back down in their other positions. “So, what's up with you Geoff?” Gavin smirked.

Geoff blushed. “What are you talking about?”

“Clearly you wanna talk about some feelings, meaning you have some.” Ray teased.

The eldest laid back. “I don't know. I told Griffon I like her and I'd take her out on a date but I'm too fucked up to be loved.”

“We love you.” Jack said quietly, looking down at Geoff beside him.

Geoff smiled and patted Jack’s back. “I love you guys too.”

“Guess it's my turn.” Michael sighed. “I feel like no matter how hard I try, my mom is going to die disappointed in me.” Tears were rolling down his cheeks. “And then she's going to leave me alone with David.”

Gavin was by his side in a second. “She’s definitely proud of you for making an effort with him. She knows you're going to be in good hands when she leaves.”

Michael was crying into the crook of his shoulder. “I hope you're right.” He croaked.

The two went into the kitchen, leaving the gents and Ray in the living room. “Man, talking about these feelings made me hungry.” Ray rubbed his stomach. 

“I can go get pizza.” Ryan commented.

Ray’s eyes lit up. “Dude. Yes! I don't have any money though.”

“I can pay for it.” Geoff nodded.

“I’ll help.” Jack dug in his pocket for his wallet.

“We are the greatest group of friends!” Ray smiled. He was happy to be around his friends again. He couldn't explain why he was all bubbly inside. “I can ride with you if you want, Ryan.”

Jack opened his mouth but Geoff glared at him, making Jack shut it. Ryan nervously agreed and grabbed his keys. “How many should I get?” 

“Three should be enough.” Jack nodded. 

“I want wings!” Michael called from the kitchen.

Ryan chuckled. “Three pizzas and wings, got it.” 

He walked out the door, Ray bouncing behind him. Ryan sighed, knowing this would happen. His friends would’ve tried to get him and Ray alone anyway.

They drove in silence for awhile, Ryan keeping his eyes foreword and Ray staring helplessly out the window. “I miss this.” Ray glanced over at Ryan. “I felt like you and I used to be so much closer in middle school. Then you got in all the smart classes and I didn't.” He laughed, pain in his eyes. “And now I'm in a relationship with a girl I don't even like. Where did I go wrong.” He rested his chin on the door.

Ryan remained quiet, not knowing what to say.  _ He's only saying this to make you feel like you have something. Just so he can crush your heart even worse later. _

“He'd never do that,” Ryan muttered, turning into the parking lot.

Ray looked at him questionly. “Did you say something?”

Ryan shook his head and got out, heading for the door. He ordered and they went back to the car. “I guess we could have called it in.” Ryan sighed as he put his seatbelt on. “Guess we should drive around now.”

Ray nodded, looking at his lap. The radio was on, playing low. Ray sensed that Ryan wasn't in the mood for talking so he turned it up and looked for a better song. 

“You can plug your phone in. The aux is in the glove box.” 

Ray looked for it and scrolled through his phone, finding a song. He smirked and put on a Yellowcard song, winding his window down and belting out the lyrics. “Way away away so you can see! How it feels to be alone and not believe, anything!” 

Ryan smiled, watching Ray from the corner of his eye. He looked genuinely happy for once. He was pumping his fist out the window and singing so loud and off key, Ryan couldn't help but feel his heart swell. 

Ray started singing to Ryan, knowing he didn't know the words. They were parked in a parking lot a few blocks from the pizza shop. 

A new song came on, one that they both knew all too well from Jack’s house.

“Shoulda been gone! Knowing how I, made you feel!”

They sang in unison, to each other. Ray looked into Ryan’s eyes and knew that this was the perfect moment. He had to let Ryan know how he felt. How he always felt.

Ray leaned closer, when Ryan’s phone went off. Ryan smiled. “Pizza should be done.” He sat back and pulled out, heading for the shop.

Ray blinked, realizing what he was about to do. For god sake’s, he had a girlfriend! He shook his head, sighing. Ryan had to be over him by now. He's seen how close he and the purple haired girl were getting. But he never talked about her. _Goddamn_ _it, heart. Fucking make up your mind already._

He stayed in the car while Ryan got the pizzas, finding a napkin and a pen to fight off the boredom. It didn't look like they were ready. He got an idea, scribbling a note and shoving it in the visor. This was going to be great.

Ryan returned and handed Ray the boxes through the window. “Fuck, these are hot.” Ray whined, shifting his legs.

“We're only a couple minutes away, you'll be fine.”

When they came in, everyone looked like they were patiently waiting. Ray sat the boxes down and popped one open, grabbing a slice. Ryan sat down, a dumb smile on his face. Geoff poked at his side. “Ray confess his love for you or something?”

“God no! We just had fun, singing in the car.” Ryan mumbled. “Would have been nice if something more happened, but it didn't.”

Geoff offered him a smile and they continued their night. The lads crashed on the floor in a tangle of limbs like always, Geoff taking a spot on the floor away from that mess, Ryan taking the loveseat, and Jack on the couch. Looks like the gang was finally okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else remember Ray singing Way Away?
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


	19. Chapter 19

"Watch it, you pricks!” Geoff yelled, trying not to get splashed for the thousandth time. 

Griffon laughed and kissed his cheek.

They were currently at Griffon’s house, which had a giant pool for them to use. Her mom was making food on the grill, smiling at the sight of all the friends Griffon had, running around. 

And it was the Fourth of July.

“Gavin shouldn't even be here.” Meg giggled, drying herself off.

“Other than his vocabulary, he's pretty American.” Barbara smirked, drying her hair.

Everyone sat on the picnic tables and ate hamburgers, hotdogs, and just about every other classic American cookout food. Everyone of the friends were there, with Gus and Burnie as added touches. They had supplied the totally legal fireworks, after all. Barbara even asked Trevor and Jeremy to come out. Surprisingly, they showed up to Griffon’s house holding hands. Everyone just kinda smirked or let their mouths hang open, and that was the end of it.

“I'm glad everyone got out to do this.” Michael smiled, squeezing Gavin’s hand. 

“I know! I'm surprised, even Jack and Geoff got in the pool.”

“I think he was just showing off for Griffon.”

The two giggled, earning a poke from Ryan. “What's so funny?”

“Geoff Ramsey in a pool full of girls.” Gavin sneered.

Ryan chuckled. “Hey, Jack is in there too.”

“Not anymore.” Michael pointed to where he and Caiti were, which was on a trampoline. Barbara and Lindsay were there, too. 

“Gavin! Come get the ball!” Barbara laughed.

“What? Why would I get the bloody ball?”

“It's a hassle for us to unzip the trampoline, go out, and come back in.” She whined, playfully.

Griffon tossed the ball back in, with a laugh. “Be careful!”

Geoff met up with her. “Griffon, your house is amazing! The yard is so big-”

“Come with me.” She smiled, grabbing his hand. The two snaked through some trees and met with a clearing in the woods. “This is my hideout.”

Geoff looked up at the treehouse. It was small, but looked big enough for at least three people. The bright yellow paint was chipping and fading, giving it a nostalgic vibe.

“It's nice.” He managed to say. Griffon climbed up the ladder, Geoff following after.

The sat in silence for a while, Geoff taking in the new scenery and Griffon reminiscing. She leaned against him, and smiled. “This was my favorite place to escape to. It was so private and pretty…” She picked up an old doll. “Guess I'm too old to play pretend. Nothing's ever gonna be picture perfect, you know? My family will still suck, we will probably suck, our friends will eventually suck. And I can't run away from problems then.” She sighed.

Geoff ran his fingers through her hair. “Even if we have problems, you don't have to be afraid of facing them. Come talk to me. I'll talk to you. As for our friends, we have to be there for them, even if they're doing something stupid. And they'll have our backs, no matter what. As for your family, call someone to talk to or hang out. We can't pretend things are okay. But we can get through them.”

Tears brimmed Griffon’s eyes as she kissed Geoff. She whispered, “Thank you so much.” 

Geoff held her for a while, texting Ryan and asking if he could borrow his car for a date sometime.

When the skies darkened, the pair headed back to the trampoline where Michael and Gavin were laying down. “We’re coming too.” Geoff smirked, climbing in and laying down beside them. Griffon followed, sitting up next to Geoff.

The rest of the group sat in the yard, watching as Griffon’s brother lit the fireworks. They sky lit up with different colors, the sparks falling down and fading into nothingness. 

“I'm glad you guys are my friends.” Barbara admitted. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

Lindsay slung an arm around her shoulder. “I love you too Barbs.”

Jack and Caiti kissed under the lights. He held her close. “I'm proud of you for losing weight. You looked great in the pool today.” Caiti smiled, giggling.

Jack returned a bit of a forced smile and kissed her forehead.

Ray and Ryan sat next to each other in the grass. “I love fireworks.” Ray looked up to Ryan, his face illuminated from the fireworks.  _ God, he looks so beautiful. _

Ryan smiled. “Me too.”

Ray shook his head of any thoughts of Ryan. He was still with Tina. He was still with Tina. He was still-

“Hey, Ray?”

“Hm?”

“I'm glad you're here.”

Ray smiled and snuggled up against Ryan, shivering. The air was chillier, but Ray needed an excuse to touch Ryan. Maybe he shouldn't still be with Tina.

Ryan tentatively placed an arm around Ray, then pulled him just a centimeter closer. He wished it could be like this all the time.

Barbara called for everyone to come around the fire. “Everyone got a s’more? Great! Let's make a toast. To friendship, relationship, and gay-ship!”

Everyone laughed, even Jeremy and Trevor, and clinked their s’mores together and ate them. The night kept on with the stars twinkling, and eventually everyone fell asleep. Mostly everyone piled onto the trampoline, Jeremy and Trevor going home, Geoff and Griffon finding their way back up to the treehouse to sleep. 

In this moment, everyone was happy. Everything was perfect.

 

The next morning, Ray woke up to a dozen missed calls and too many text messages to count. He hadn't even noticed them when he woke up against Ryan. It took him a while to get back to reality. 

Ray sighed, climbing out of the trampoline, attempting not to wake anyone. He texted Tina and asked to meet at the school playground since he was close to it. He texted a few people here to let them know he was leaving.

He was able to escape without much effort, looking back every now and then to make sure nobody woke up. He arrived at the park first, sitting down on the swing. He kept going over what he was going to say in his head.

“Hey, baby.”

He looked up and saw Tina. She had a smile on her face, but Ray knew it wasn't genuine. 

“Hey. Can we talk?”

She rolled her eyes. “Have another heart-to-heart without me? God, Ray, you're just like a girl.”

Ray bit his lip, sucking in a deep breath. “I think we should break up.”

Tina definitely looked puzzled. “You mean to tell me you asked me to walk a fucking mile from my house just so you could break up with me?”

“Excuse me for wanting to be a gentleman about it!”

“Being a gentleman? Guess what Ray? It's the fucking 21st century. We can break up over text messages now. But we aren't breaking up. There's nothing wrong with us.”

“The hell there isn't. I have barely seen my friends all summer because of you! And haven't you noticed that everyone gets uncomfortable with you around?”

“I can't help it that your friends are judgmental assholes.”

“You're the judgmental asshole, Tina. I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize it. You want this to be the 21st century? People never talk about their problems anymore. So I'm walking away, and we’re through.” Ray turned on his heel and walked away.

“Walk away then! I'll just tell everyone embarrassing stories of you in bed!”

Ray turned, but kept walking backwards. “Go the fuck ahead. I don't care anymore.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away, tears rolling down his cheeks. He could still hear Tina yelling, but nothing could stop him.

He knew his friends would support him. But he really didn't want to talk about this now. Or ever really. So he kept walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so updating didn't go as planned 
> 
>  
> 
> ~~And I don't know why because I have up to chapter 25 written~~
> 
>  
> 
> But hopefully I will update sooner next time! <3


	20. Chapter 20

“I'm so fucking stupid, I should've seen this coming.” Barbara kicked at the hospital wall, earning concerned looks from people nearby.

“It's not your fault. I didn't even know she was bulimic.” Geoff admitted, standing awkwardly beside her. 

“I caught her once. I asked why she did it, but she didn't really give me an answer. Promised me she wouldn't do it again. Stupid, stupid, stupid!” She leaned against the wall and buried her head in her hands.

Geoff stood next to her, unsure of what to say. He was with Barbara when she got the call from Lindsay’s parents, saying she went into Cardiac Arrest. Now, they were at the hospital and unable to see her because they weren't immediate family.

“I texted Ryan, Gavin, and Ray. I figured Michael is tired of hospitals and Jack probably heard from Caiti.”

“It's not even worth it to come here, you know. Since we can't see her.” Barbara mumbled. 

Geoff sighed, running a hand down his face. He looked down the hall to see Ray coming towards them. “Hey guys.” 

Geoff looked over at Barbara, who was now crying. “Thanks for coming. We can't see her.” 

Ray blew out and shook his head. “This sucks.”

Geoff looked at the lad. He hadn't seen him in a week or so, and he looked tired. He had dark circles under his eyes, and they were red and puffy. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine. Maybe. Not really.” Ray shoved his hands in his pockets. “I broke up with Tina, which should make me happy. But I miss her. Or maybe I miss having someone to cuddle and kiss.”

“I'll cuddle, but I draw the line at kissing.” Geoff smirked.

Ray laughed, his first genuine one in a while. Barbara even managed a chuckle. But everyone went stone-faced as Lindsay’s mom appeared in the hallway.

“She's awake, and learning of what just happened. She refuses to believe it, though. Why don't you go home sweetie, I'll call if anything changes.” She wrapped an arm around Barbara.

The blonde sighed. “I guess if I can’t see her I shouldn't even be here.” 

They piled into Barbara's car, sitting in silence for a while. She started the car and started driving, the radio the only buffer. 

Eventually, Barbara pulled onto a dirt road and drove slow so she wouldn't damage her car. “I've been doing a lot of thinking. About stuff I should've said to her.” She pulled over, parking the car. She turned to look at the two. “Geoff, we are getting you out of that house. Ray, for fucks sake tell Ryan how you feel. Who knows if you'll be alive long enough to live without a regret.”

She turned back and drove, leaving Geoff and Ray to think about what she said. Barbara kept going with her rant, through tears. “I'm gonna tell Caiti to spend every moment with Jack and make sure he's healthy. I'm gonna tell Jack to look into what he's doing to himself and his friends. I need to tell Gavin to stop being a baby about Michael spending time with his mom. Griffon’s gotta tell me more about her life so we can fix it.”

Barbara pulled up to her house, shutting off the car. “Michael is doing good. Ryan needs more support. Meg is being a great friend. I'm sorry.”

Geoff rubbed her back. “Barb, you can't just fix people. Things take time.”

“You need to stop beating yourself up. Lindsay knew full and well what she was doing.” Ray leaned forward. 

Barbara sighed. “Let's just go play video games. Or maybe I'll take a nap. Who knows anymore.”

The three entered the house, playing video games to escape.

 

“Are we shitty people?” Meg asked, setting her cards down.

Gavin shook his head, setting down a card. “Nobody's really at fault here.”

“We’re her friends, we should know when something's not right.” 

“People suffer in silence. Look at us. We're bloody playing cards because we’re too sad to do anything else.”

“I wish I would've talked to her more.”

“Meg, she's not dead.”

“I know.” She said, quietly. She picked her cards back up, looking through them. “I hope Barbara is okay. She went to the hospital.”

“Geoff said they're back at her place now. She's still pretty shaken up.” Gavin leaned back. “We’re all shitty people. We lie to our friends, our parents, even ourselves. It takes one incident for everyone to show their true colors.”

“How's Michael?”

“Busy, like always.” Gavin nonchalantly stated, ending their card game.

Meg decided not to press anymore.

 

Jack was locked in his room, thinking things over. How Lindsay was right. He had a problem. And now she was in the hospital because Jack was too scared to tell anyone.

He looked at his pills. They made everything so much easier. He could eat in front of everyone, without faking it. He was losing weight, just like he wanted. 

And it always felt wrong.

Jack felt as if he was lying to everyone. Even when he wasn't. ‘Yes I ate today.’ ‘Diet and exercise are all I have used to lose weight.’ ‘I'm okay, really.’

Caiti. She'd been so supportive, saying there was never anything wrong with Jack’s appearance. She supported him sticking to an exercise and making sure he was balancing his diet properly.

Loving him no matter what.

Lindsay’s hospitalization affected everyone that loves her. Jack couldn't let that happen. 

He grabbed the pills from his bag, dresser, and closet. He threw them into his fire pit, lighting a piece of newspaper and tossing it in. He watched the cardboard box dissolve into flames. He felt his shoulders lift up, after carrying this secret for so long.

For the first time in a while, he was happy. And he wanted other people to be too.

“Caiti, come over. I want to talk to you about something.”

 

“Oh no, do you think it's something bad?” Caiti bit her lip, looking over at Griffon. 

“I doubt it. Why would Jack want to break up with you? You guys never fight.”

“Maybe he's tired of it. He probably wants something more exciting. Our relationship has been fairly boring.”

“Caiti, come on. Maybe Lindsay made him think about how precious life is.”

“We've already said we love each other.” Caiti sighed. “What else could he need to tell me before it's too late?”

Griffon drove Caiti over, staying in the driveway just in case.

She stepped out of the car, seeing Jack on the porch swing. She walked over slowly, taking a seat next to him.

“Don't worry, I will always love you.” He kissed her tenderly, then pulled away with a sigh.

“But what?”

“I think I have a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” Caiti shifted in her seat, looking at him.

“I was taking those pills, and it wasn't good. I barely ate, and I ran more than I should've. There was a time I fainted in the woods. I'm sorry for lying to you. I burned all the pills I have.”

“Jack… I'm so sorry. I should've said something when I found the pills.”

“Don't be sorry! I'm sorry. You've done nothing but support me and all I've done is lie and waste my money.”

“So you'll be healthier?”

“You're my new coach.” He kissed her hands. “And I love you.”

She smiled and kissed him. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	21. Chapter 21

“That's great to hear!” Barbara smiled. “Okay, I'll let you go. Have a good night.” She hung up the phone and looked to her guests. “She's doing better, the doctors said it was one of the best cases they've seen.”

“I'm glad she's doing better.” Geoff smiled, scrolling down. “This one looks okay.” 

She looked down and nodded. “It's a good size for you, and a nice price.”

“Didn't Gavin say he'd move in too?” Ray added, looking up from his phone.

“Gavin would have plenty of room.” Geoff rolled his eyes.

“Gotta account for Michael too.” Jeremy added.

The four were at Barbara's house, mainly to compare school schedules. Jack and Caiti were probably doing something and Gavin and Michael planned on going bowling together, Griffon was school shopping and Ryan was helping Meg with her summer work. Jeremy had decided to join them since they've become closer. 

It's been about a month since Lindsay first got admitted, and she was doing better. As for everyone else, they weren't following through with Barbara's suggestions. Ray hadn't made any advances with Ryan, Gavin was still pouty when Michael didn't spend time with him, and Geoff still hadn't gotten out of his house. Jack was the only one who was being honest, and Barbara wasn't even the one to suggest it. 

“How're things with Trevor?” Ray leaned back in his seat. 

“Great, really.” Jeremy smiled. “I think we’re coming out in school this year.”

“That's great!” Barbara smiled. “I'm glad someone is taking my advice.”

“Hey I'll get around to it.” Ray stuck his tongue out.

“Good. Because you're calling him right now and asking him out.”

“What no!” Ray’s face flushed.

“Hey, Geoff is looking for an apartment. Jeremy and Trevor are taking a chance. Even Jack is doing better. Take my fucking advice for once.” Barbara shook her head. “Ryan’s been hurting ever since you got with her.”

Ray sighed, standing up. “I'm gonna take a walk. And where I end up, well we’ll see.”

Barbara sighed. “Stay safe.”

Ray gave her a smile and walked out, looking up at the sky. Nighttime was approaching, and Ray still hadn't made up his mind. 

Sure, he could tell Ryan how he felt. But what if Ryan didn't feel the same? Ray didn't want to ruin their friendship because of some dumb feelings.

A few hours had passed and Ray had just walked in circles, never quite reaching Ryan's house but not going home either. He thought back to that night in the car. The way Ryan looked at him. The way he had leaned in. The way his heart pounded anytime he was around Ryan. The way he always felt. 

He had to tell Ryan. 

Ray began sprinting towards Ryan’s house, but his phone buzzing in his pocket made him stop. He pulled it out to see Michael texted him a picture of Ryan, Geoff, Meg, Gavin, and Griffon that Geoff took in Ryan’s car. 

**Mogar: guess our boyfriends are busy. Wanna come over?**

Ray sighed, wiping his eyes.

**Omw**

“God I'm so dumb.” Ray laughed and shook his head, kicking a rock before turning around to walk to Michael’s.

 

“You don't feel like I take you away from the guys, right?” Caiti bit her lip, looking over at Jack.

“That's crazy.” Jack turned around to face her in his computer chair. “We hang out enough, and I spend the rest of the time with you.”

“I just didn't want to be like Tina, you know? I never thought I was, but now realizing what she did to Ray had me worrying-”

“Caiti, you're a wonderful person and I love you. I love my friends, not as much but still a lot. And you have never once gotten upset when I said I was hanging out with them. You are not a toxic person like her.” He went over and kissed her forehead. “And I couldn't be happier.”

Caiti smiled and sat up to kiss him. “You always know what to say. How's the school work going?”

Jack sighed. “I think I might be fucked for junior year.”

She frowned. “I'm sure Ryan can help and I'll try my best.”

“I know.” He scooped her up and trailed little kisses up her neck.

She giggled. “Jack, dear.” She was blushing now. 

“What?” He teased, nipping her earlobe.

She shivered, humming in response.

He laughed and laid down, pulling her on top of him. “I know,” he whispered, kissing her cheek.

“Someday.” She nodded, pulling the covers over them.

 

“For the love of god, stop punching the roof.” Ryan said, impatient as his passengers refused to listen. 

“Come on, Rye. You'll get a better car soon. I've been making lots of money.” Geoff grinned, pulling Griffon closer. 

Gavin giggled, leaning up. “Yeah, a little ding in the roof won't hurt.”

Meg looked at him apologetically from the passenger seat. They had been drinking at her house when her dad said he was coming home, so Ryan picked everyone up in his car and they were driving around.

“Meggie, I wanna sit up front.” Gavin whined. “It's cramped back here.”

“We’ll switch at the pizza place.” She chuckled, shaking her head. 

Ryan pulled in and managed to get money from everyone. “Alright, I'll be back in a couple minutes. Gavin, will you be able to hold the pizzas?”

“For sure!”

Ryan shook his head and went inside, Meg and Gavin switching seats. Geoff and Griffon started kissing, luckily pushing against the door so Meg had more room behind Gavin. The Brit was starting to get bored, so he rummaged through the glove compartment. Stifling a laugh, he pulled out a condom and waved it around. 

“Oooh Ryan’s gonna get lucky!”

“Gavin, you dumb fuck put that back!” Geoff warned, glaring at him.

Gavin scoffed. “I was going to.” He shut the compartment and flipped his visor down, making faces in the mirror. He flipped the driver’s side down for Geoff, not even noticing the napkin that fell out. He whined as the cold air hit his face from Ryan opening his door.

“Here, try not to eat them until we get to Griffon’s.” 

They drove back to her house, blasting the radio with the windows down and singing the wrong lyrics to some bubblegum pop songs. Ryan shook his head and smiled, remembering the night like this with Ray.

Barbara had told him to talk to Ray, and at least say some part of how he felt. But Ryan had seriously thought about it, and decided that even if he and Ray got together, he wanted to keep his grades up. And a relationship was not what he needed right now.

Right now, Ryan just needed to be with his friends. And forget about all the bullshit in life. Just for one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3
> 
> I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story!


	22. Chapter 22

“This fucking sucks.” Ray groaned, resting his forehead on his desk.

Geoff sighed, tapping his fingers on the desk. “At least your locker is close to everyone’s else's. I'm back with the fucking freshman.”

“This school really needs to get its shit together and give us the same lockers for four years.” Michael commented, putting his phone away.

“I think Barbara got one next to Lindsay, as soon as she comes back.” Geoff said, quietly. The others nodded, snapping their attention to the front as class began.

School officially started and like always, the boys (and girls) absolutely dreaded it. Gavin was excited to be in film production again, but sad to see him and Michael weren't in a lot of classes together.

Ryan and Jack had the hardest schedules, Geoff and Gavin following close behind. Michael and Ray unsurprisingly had many classes together.

Barbara almost walked out after being bombarded with questions about Lindsay, and Griffon was more anxious without Geoff being with her. Caiti had helped Barbara out with her jitters, while Meg helped get syllabuses for their friend still recovering.

Trevor and Jeremy had walked into school holding hands, and haven't honestly stopped since. All the football players gave them disgusted looks, but their new friends cheered them on. Barbara couldn't have been more proud.

Lunch had finally rolled around and the crew sat together, with Jeremy and Trevor stopping by to say their thanks.

“Well, this year already sucks.” Geoff groaned, picking at his food.

“Yeah, seriously how did we get a study hall but not you guys?” Ryan questioned, looking over to Jack.

“I don't know what to do with my free time yet.” Jack laughed, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“No need to brag.” Gavin stuck his tongue out, earning a poke from Michael. “What was that for?” He squawked.

Michael giggled. “For being rude.”

The group shared stories from periods the others didn't experience, each of them telling only a few lies. Nobody really needed to know how scared they were.

Ray occasionally looked around to find Tina, eventually spotting her with some other dumb jock. He sighed, picking at his food.

Barbara forced a smile all through lunch. After all, how could everyone act so normal when Lindsay wasn't even here? Things just weren't the same anymore.

They said their goodbyes and headed off to 6th period, which was gratefully Jack and Ryan’s study hall.

“It's nice to be together for lunch, you know?” Jack sat down, looking for a deck of cards.

“Yeah. You and I are always together but we never really get to hang out.” Ryan sat across from him, pulling out his phone.

“Do you think we’ll survive another year?”

Ryan shook his head. “We just scraped by last year. We have so many powderkegs within our friends, I'm just afraid they're all going to blow up at once.”

“I'm just glad I got my shit figured out, you know? I never really talked about it to you guys, but I know you supported me.”

“You're the only stable one.” Ryan smirked. “Don't have to brag about it.”

“Did someone say my name?” Matt slid into the seat next to Jack, the gents sharing a laugh.

“God, if only Barb was here.” Jack chuckled.

 

“Are you sure you can't come back yet? I know. Things are just- You're right. Get some rest, alright? We’ll talk later.” Barbara ended the call and took in a deep breath. When she exhaled, a sob wracked her entire body. She slid down into the floor and cried into her hands.

“I can't do this. She always had my back. But what do I do without hers?” Barbara wiped her eyes and laughed at the black marks smeared across her skin.

A door opening caused her to jump up and peek out the crack of the stall door to see who entered. She sighed a breath of relief when Caiti’s face appeared in the mirror. She slowly stepped out, Caiti turning and gasping when she saw her.

“Barbara what's wrong?” She handed Barbara some tissues from her bag.

“Everything was so much easier with her. There's always been someone I could count on in every class and now she's not here. She's supposed to be better by now, why isn't she?”

Caiti wrapped her arms around the blonde and held her tight. “She's just taking some time to think. It was a rough experience for her, you know. She really needs to take a step back and realize what she did. And how she can help herself.”

“Do you think she’ll still want to be friends with me?”

“Of course.” Barbara could hear the smile in Caiti’s voice. “No matter what, she is your best friend. And you are hers.”

Barbara sniffled and cleaned herself up. She smiled and waved at Caiti as she left, feeling much better than when she walked in.

 

“It sucks, you know. I've been in hospitals a lot lately, too.” Michael said quietly, leaning back in his chair.

“Mmm.” Lindsay replied, looking out the window.

“Gavin and I are still doing good. Though he's gotten into some hard drugs.”

“That's nice.”

“Lindsay, you've gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Her head snapped over and she glared at him. “Do you think I like hearing everyone's stories about how great their lives are? Knowing I fucked mine up so bad that everyone hates me for it? I'm tired, Michael. I love seeing everyone but it breaks my heart.”

“Lindsay I-”

“Don't bother.” She sighed. “Go and be happy. Maybe I'll be out with you guys soon.”

"No." Michael shook his head. "Why did you even do it?"

Lindsay sighed, looking at him with tears in her eyes. "I did it to forget something that happened last year. I don't..." She looked down, taking in a deep breath. "I don't want to talk about it right now..."

"I'm always here if you need me." He half-smiled.

Lindsay nodded. "You can stay, but maybe let's not talk."

Michael grinned, pulling out his DS. "No problem there!"

 

“Ray I'm going insane.”

Ray blew out and set his controller down. “I came over to not think about deep shit. Don't start.”

Gavin threw himself back onto the bed. “I'm sorry but all this shite with Michael is making me lose my shit.”

Ray rolled his eyes. “Then talk to him.”

“Take your own advice for once.” Gavin threw a pillow at Ray.

He caught it and laughed. “You know what you need? Party. This weekend.”

“Oh that sounds great! I'll text Geoff and Jac-”

“Gavin, no. This will be a just us type of party. I used to go to them all the time last summer. And they really help you forget for a while.”

“What if they want to hang out?”

“Then we’ll do it next week and not tell them. Simple as that.”

Gavin looked at his ceiling. “You know what? Let's do it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	23. Chapter 23

"You're sure this guy is trustworthy?”

“Seemed nice enough.”

Barbara shook her head with a smile, sliding the box into the seat. “Little Geoff is growing up.”

Geoff rolled his eyes but smiled. “Oh shut up.” He gave her a hug.

She hugged back and hopped into Ryan's car. “Alright, gotta get this stuff to your new place!”

Geoff slid into the passenger seat and looked at Ryan. “You remember where it is?”

“I'll never forget it.” Ryan laughed, starting the car.

They drove out to the little beat up shack in the middle of practically nowhere, seeing most of their other friends there. They've gotten most of the little things moved, but they needed to wait for Jeremy to bring his pickup truck to hall his bed and other large items.

“I'm so proud of you Geoff.” Griffon walked up to him and kissed his cheek.

“Thanks Grif.” He grinned and kissed her passionately in front of everyone.

“It's nice that Geoff has his own place.” Gavin smiled.

“Yeah. You gonna end up moving in with him?” Michael smirked.

“Probably. And you can spend the night.” Gavin giggled, pulling Michael in for a kiss.

Ray looked at them and sighed as he looked over at Ryan. If only things were simpler.

“Okay, so the house is all clear of my stuff and now I'm ready to sleep in my own home!” Geoff announced proudly. 

The group clapped and continued on with their conversations, everyone gathered around a fire pit in Geoff’s new yard. 

That night, everyone slept in the house in various rooms, all waking up and making breakfast together. Slowly everyone filtered out and Geoff was left with only Griffon.

“You're still alone, you know.” She kissed his nose.

“Ah, the guys will be around often.” He laced his fingers through hers. “And I hope you'll be stopping by often.”

She laughed softly and nodded. “Of course I'll be here. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.” She kissed him fiercely,  stepping back and smiling one last time before turning and walking home.

It only took two hours for Gavin to be on Geoff’s front porch. And three nights of sleeping there. Then one week later, he asked his aunt if he could move out. And she said yes.

 

“Ray, I'm not sure about this. Geoff hasn't slept alone in that house.” Gavin bit his lip, being tugged along by Ray.

The young lad rolled his eyes. “He said he was going to Griffon’s this weekend, remember? You're off the hook.” He stopped to look at his phone. “And we're almost there.” 

Gavin sighed.  _ Michael hasn't even asked to hang out in a month. I deserve this. _ “Let's do this.”

The music making Gavin’s head pound and the bodies too close together should've been a sign that this wouldn't be good for Gavin. But he pushed through the people with Ray anyway, finding the alcohol. 

The lads downed a few drinks and headed for the main area, dancing with the crowd. 

They had walked very far out of town for this but not even their aching feet could stop them from having a great time.

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom!” Ray called over the music.

Gavin gave him a nod and a thumbs up, Ray disappearing from Gavin’s sights.

It had already been an hour and Gavin was starting to feel great. Though a little tired from the walk and dancing. He was chatting with a few people, and he thought they were very cool people.

“Having fun?” 

Gavin turned and smiled at Ray. “This place is bloody top!”

“Oh your accent is so cool!” A girl leaned closer and twirled her brown hair around her finger.

“Sorry, he's gay and taken.” Ray smirked and pulled Gavin to the kitchen for more drinks.

“Bev me up!”

The two downed more drinks happily and made their way outside, where there was currently a dogfight in the pool. They laughed and stood next to some people who knew what they were talking about, then Ray ended up being pushed in.

“Gavin! You fuck!” 

Everyone laughed and soon other began pushing people in. Ray managed to pull Gavin in as well.

“Ray, this is the bloodiest best time I've had in awhile.”

“We can do this every weekend, when we're not busy!” 

Gavin laughed and splashed Ray. “Sounds perfect to me!”

They eventually got out of the pool and the party inside started dying, so they called it a night as well. The walk back home was even slower, mostly because Ray couldn't remember the way and Gavin kept stumbling into things.

“Fuckin lightweight.” Ray chuckled, shaking his head.

“Sod off.” Gavin laughed, wrapping an arm around Ray. “You don't even know where my bloody house is!”

“Of course I do. I didn't spend two hours not helping you guys move in for nothing!”

“Whatever.” Gavin skipped ahead, almost banging into a stop sign.

They made their way back to Geoff’s (and now Gavin’s) house, tip toeing around to make sure nobody was home.

When the coast was clear, the two raided the kitchen for snacks and staggered upstairs to Gavin’s room.

“Ray, this what the absolute most fun I've had in such a long time!” Gavin breathed, looking at him.

“I'm glad you did, now let's get some sle-”

In an instant, Gavin's arms flung around Ray and he was kissing the Puerto Rican. At first, Ray was stunned. Then a million feelings and thoughts washed over him and he kissed back.

Gavin pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, his tongue finding its way into Ray’s mouth. 

Their hands were all over the place but never quite right, and the kissing stopped sometime and the two passed out on the bed, semi holding each other in a mass of tangled limbs. 

The next morning, Gavin woke up with a pounding head and not enough memory of what happened the night before.

Right now, he was focused on the figure in the corner.

“This is a sight to see.” Michael said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I don't have an excuse for not uploading~~
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	24. Chapter 24

“Michael!” Gavin scrambled out of bed and stumbled over, falling into Michael’s arms.

The curly haired boy laughed and kissed Gavin’s head. “I'm excited to see you too. Wanna go hang out?”

Gavin tilted his head. “Where?”

Michael shrugged. “Wherever. I miss you.”

Gavin smiled and kissed Michael. “What should I do about Ray?”

“Just leave a text and I'm sure he’ll understand.”

Gavin nodded, doing so and leaving with Michael. No memories from last night coming back to him.

But they all came back to Ray.

He woke up to an empty bed, and an empty feeling in his stomach. Instantly, last night flashed through his mind and he jumped back. “I didn't fucking do that, right?”

He looked around the room and knew, yes, they kissed by the door. They fell asleep together. Did it mean anything?

Where was Gavin? Did he remember what happened? That's probably why he left. Ray groaned and gathered his things, rushing out of Geoff’s house before anyone came so he could hole himself up in his room for the rest of his life.

“Stupid. Fucking idiot. I never should've brought the fuck.” Ray had his hands deep in his pockets, kicking at the ground. “Michael will kick the shit out of me and Jack will kill me and Geoff with disown me and fuck fuck fuck what if Ryan finds out!” He slammed his fists against a stop sign. “God, I'm so dumb.” He couldn't help the tears streaming down his face. 

He made his way home, luckily his mom was at work. He locked himself in his room and played video games. 

 

“Jack, I'm sorry but I have to go.” Caiti sighed, shaking her head. “It won't be forever, you know.”

“But long enough to make it shitty.” Jack ran his hands down his face, blowing out air from his mouth.

“I'll text you every chance I get. And we can video chat.” She placed her hand in his. “I'll love you, even from overseas.”

Jack kissed her forehead and sighed. “I know you will. And I'll try to make it work too.”

Caiti smiled and kissed Jack, resting her hand on his heart. “God, I'll miss you so much.” She laughed, tears brimming her eyes.

“When do you leave again?” 

“In a week.”

“Then I'll make the next week the best of your life.” Jack grinned.

Caiti giggled as Jack picked her up, carrying her to his bedroom. He laid her down gently, kissing her.

She kissed back and held his shirt in her hand, looking up into his eyes. She gave a small nod, causing Jack’s eyes to sparkle.

“Caiti, are you sure?” He breathed.

“I'm absolutely positive."

 

Ryan sighed, placing more garbage from his car into the bag.  _ What, were your friends raised in a pig stye? _

“Probably. Hard to say with them though.”

He vacuumed up crumbs from the floor in the backseat, mumbling to himself. “I don't even know what they would've ate to get this many crumbs.”

He finished cleaning the back, then moved onto the passenger seat. That proved to be quite the task, taking him a half an hour in itself. He moved to the driver’s side, vacuuming the seat. “Hm? What's this?”

He picked up the napkin. “I never eat while up here.” He took notice of a line of ink on it, slowly opening it up to reveal the note.

 

_ Ryan, _

_ Thank you for making tonight the best night of my life. You don't know how badly I wanted to kiss you tonight. I hope you read this soon. _

 

Of course, Ryan had to fight through the creases of the napkin and Ray’s chicken scratch handwriting, but he was able to decipher it.

_ Gavin probably wrote that when he was drunk. There's no way Ray feels this way. _

“I don't care.” Ryan got in his car, backing out and heading for Ray’s house.

He knocked on the door, getting no answer. “Dammit Ray I know you never leave your house.” He knocked again, then texted the lad.

_ I told you he doesn't- _

“That's not true.” He knocked again.

_ You're embarrassing yourself. _

“Fuck off.”

_ He doesn't love you. And let's be honest, do you really love him anymore? _

“Shut up!” He breathed heavily, looking at the ground.

“You okay pal?”

Ryan looked up to see Ray’s puzzled look.

“Yeah! I'm fine. Great, actually. Can I- can I come in?”

“I mean, I guess.” Ray shrugged, walking to the couch.

Ryan followed and paced the floor. He didn't know how to say what he wanted to. What if Ray didn't even write it? What if Ray didn't feel the same? 

“I found your note.” He blurted.

Ray tilted his head, and his eyes widened as he remembered. “Oh. That.”

Ryan sat down, whispering ‘fuck’ to himself.  _ You just ruined it. _

“Ryan, why did you come here?”

“I wanted to know if you still wanted to kiss me.”

Ray laughed. “I've wanted to kiss you since the seventh grade.”

“Wait, really?” 

Ray nodded, walking over and pecking Ryan’s cheek.

Ryan clasped his arms around him and kissed Ray with everything he had. And Ray kissed back.

“When do we tell them?”

“I vote never. We’ll never hear the end of ‘I told you so’.”

Ray agreed, and the two smiled before sharing another kiss. For now, Ray could forget about last night.

 

“I'm sorry I haven't visited much. I just didn't know what to say.”

“It's fine.” Lindsay smiled. “It's nice to see you again. How are things?”

Caiti looked down at her lap. “I have to go back to Australia for a while.”

Lindsay nodded, sitting up a little straighter. “And how does that make you feel?”

“Sad. I'm leaving my friends, and my boyfriend. All the beautiful places, too. Australia was nice, but it'll never compare to this.”

“How'd Jack take the news?”

Caiti blushed. “Well, very well.”

Lindsay burst into a giggle fit. “You guys actually did it?”

Caiti nodded, hiding her face while Lindsay continued to laugh. 

“I'm proud and happy for you.” The redhead smiled. “I hope you guys stay strong while you're away.”

“I hope so too.” Caiti took in a deep breath, trying her hardest not to cry. “I know it may not seem like it, but you were a great friend to me. You and I never really got personal, but we didn't need too. I knew you'd always be there if things got tough. And I'll miss you. I hope you get better soon. It's really taking a toll on Barbara.” She sniffled. “And they're going to need your witty humor when I'm gone. Especially Jack. Cheer him up all you can.” With that, Caiti broke down into a sob, and shedding tears.

Lindsay leaned up and hugged her tightly. “I’ll try, Caiti. I promise.”

 

That night, Gavin was met with flashes of what he had done. The drinks, the dancing, the kiss,

_ Ray… _

He was shaking. How could he have been so stupid? And worst of all, Ray hasn't even texted him back. Why did he do that?

Was he just lonely? Did he have feelings for Ray? It was the alcohol, for sure. Maybe he was just horny.

Whatever the reason, Gavin royally fucked up. And the only person he could talk to right now wasn't answering.

Gavin crept downstairs, making sure to not wake Geoff, and rooted his cabinets. Nothing looked calming to him, so he decided to take a walk and clear his head.

He shivered as soon as he walked out, and he started walking in a random direction in complete darkness. 

The walk wasn't helping, and Gavin knew he had to use his backup plan. He rang the doorbell and sucked in a breath. A familiar face greeted him and asked why the hell he was here.

“I need something to take the edge off.” Gavin flashed him a $100 dollar bill.

The man grinned and placed a baggie in his hands, taking the money. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

Gavin nodded, walking out of town and into the woods. He had to keep this a secret. He sat down, pulling out the joint. He held it to his lips, hesitating. 

Well, if everything went to hell tomorrow, at least he was happy now.

He lit it, taking a long, slow drag. The world faded around him, hell, he didn't even remember falling asleep. But he woke up on the couch at Geoff’s. And nobody suspected a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm not dead!~~
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	25. Chapter 25

“I'm sorry I have to leave you all so soon. Just know I'll never forget you guys.” Caiti wiped her eyes, raising her glass.

They grouped clinked their cups together and drank. The crew was currently gathered around a fire pit at Geoff’s house, throwing a going away party for Caiti.

“I'm gonna miss you so much.” Barbara threw a twig into the fire.

“Yeah, you've been a great friend.” Griffon smiled sadly.

Caiti leaned back against Jack and looked into the fire. “Why do things have to go awful when they were just starting to be okay again?”

The question hung heavy in the air. Ray made his way back into the house for another drink, when Gavin popped up beside him.

“What happened after that party?” 

Ray sighed, knowing this was coming. “You fucking kissed me like an idiot.”

Gavin scoffed. “You kissed back. And your hands were on me first.”

The two remained silent, Ray running a hand down his face. “Why the fuck did we almost fuck?”

Gavin shrugged. “I just remember feeling alive, and needing to express it.”

“And I was thinking about Ryan all night. How he'd give me hell if he knew I was drinking.” 

The two laughed, Gavin slinging an arm over Ray’s shoulder. “Let's pretend that never happened, alright?”

“Agreed!” 

The pair made their way back to the fire, Ray sitting down next to Ryan. “Should we tell them?” He whispered to the gent.

Ryan shook his head. “It's Caiti’s day. Let her have it.”

“I think she’ll be happy to know.”

“But we don't want to have the spotlight.”

“I think she won't mind.”

“But-”

“What are you two arguing about?” Jack raised a brow at them. 

Ryan sighed, standing up. “Alright, alright. I'm sorry to say everyone missed the momentous occasion of us confessing our love to each other.”

Gavin blinked. “So like, you guys are banging now?”

“What? No! We just decided we like each other so we're dating.” Ray shrugged, shrinking back down.

The group erupted into cheers, a tackle from the lads on Ray, a squeal from the ladies, and a clasp on the shoulder from the gents. “I'm proud of you both!” Barbara beamed.

“About fucking time.” Geoff smirked.

“Alright alright. Let's get back to Caiti.” Ray mumbled.

She giggled and shook her head. “You guys are the best. I'll miss you so much.”

The crew fell silent, the crack of the fire and crickets chirping seeming louder now.   Nobody really knew what to say. Considering the only person especially close to Caiti was Jack.

“Hey, who's ready for s’mores?” Barbara held up the marshmallows.

The lads scrambled to go find the best sticks, and Jack smiled, picking up one he found hours ago. “I'll take one.”

Slowly, the night went on with stories and jokes and laughter ringing through the air. Eventually everyone tired out, and crashed in various places around the house. 

The next day, everyone woke up to the smell of something good cooking in the kitchen. Gavin was the first to investigate, rubbing his eyes as he walked in to see Geoff and Griffon making breakfast.

“What are you guys cooking?” The lad yawned. “And why so early?”

“Caiti has to be at the airport by 12. And probably wants to go home before that.” Griffon set a plate down for Gavin. “First come, first serve.” She winked.

Gavin lit up and began eating. Ray was the next to venture in, sitting down next to Gavin.

“Well, well, well. If it isn't the guy who waited forever.” Gavin giggled.

“Shut up.” Ray rolled his eyes, but then smiled. “Why didn't you fucks tell me sooner?”

Geoff shrugged, handing him a plate. “Gentleman’s code?”

They laughed and everyone began waking up and entering the kitchen to eat. Reality didn't really set in until it was time for Caiti to leave. 

“This is really hard.” She wiped her eyes, trying to keep her voice straight. “You don't need to come to the airport. It's a horrible place for goodbyes.” She laughed, her entire body shaking. “You guys have given me the best four years of my life. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.” She turned and cried into Jack’s chest, while he rubbed her back soothingly.

Everyone closed in and hugged her, and watched as her and Jack left in the car. Nobody really moved or said anything for a while. They had to think about what was really starting to happen. 

“Jack is gonna be an even bigger mess.” Geoff commented, to nobody in particular.

“Maybe we should have a guys night, keep him occupied.” Ryan suggested.

“Yeah, I think I'm going to go home.” Barbara went back inside to grab her things.

“I'll probably go too.” Meg waved to everyone and walked down the street.

“I'll see you later.” Griffon kissed Geoff on the cheek, then stepped away to walk towards her house.

Eventually, everyone made their way back inside and the boys waited for Jack. And waited. 

And waited.

Then the door opened and Jack was hunched over. And everyone hugged him. They just watched a movie, nobody really wanting to talk anyway. Until Gavin just couldn't take it anymore.

“Why didn't you tell us you and Ray are dating as soon as it happened?”

Ryan smiled. “It was late, anyway.”

“And then you guys made sweet love to each other.” Geoff smirked.

“Hey, we don't wanna make you jealous.” Ryan winked, causing Ray to sputter.

“What the fuck? We didn't fuck!”

Michael snorted. “Let Geoff have his fantasy, Ray.”

They all laughed, except for Jack, who just gave them a small smile.

“Who's up for some monopoly?” Geoff grinned. “I'll be the banker!”

Everyone groaned, but continued to clear off the table anyway.

“Can we do teams?”

“Gavin, how the fuck would that even work?” Michael shook his head.

“Well shared properties and-”

“The game’s already a dick as it is. Let's just play the normal way, with free parking giving us money, of course.” Ray grinned.

“Plus he and Ryan are gonna sweep the floor anyway.”

“Not unless you and I have to fight to the death.” 

Even Jack was able to laugh this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I've run out of excuses~~


	26. Chapter 26

“Hey Ryan? Ryaaannn! Ryan?” Ray poked the gent’s nose.

Ryan sighed, setting his pencil down. “Yes Ray?”

“Are you done yet?”

Ryan smiled, shaking his head. “I will be soon. You're not helping me get this done faster.”

“I know that.” Ray rolled onto his back. “I just love spending time with you, you know?”

“I know.” Ryan leaned forward to kiss Ray’s forehead, then went back to his work. He hummed as he did it, every now and again glancing at Ray, who was messing with pretty much everything in Ryan’s room. 

“Are you doing the play this year?”

Ryan shrugged. “I guess. It just takes a lot of my time away.”

“I'm sure Jack can always help if you get behind. I mean I’ll try but not much will come out of it.”

Ryan laughed. “Hey, you know what? Why don't you try out for the play this year? We’ll get to spend a lot of time together.”

Ray scrunched up his face. “I don't know, you'd probably be whisked away since you're the main character and I'll just be a lonely cornstalk in the background.”

They shared a laugh. “I'm sure you won't be that much of a background character.”

Ray shrugged and flopped onto Ryan's bed. “Why was I such an idiot?” 

Ryan looked over at him, an eyebrow arched. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Ray laughed. “Why didn't I just tell you my stupid feelings so we could've been in stupid love for a lot longer than this?”

“You're quite eager to be calling this love.” Ryan began putting his things away. “What do you want to do since I'm all done?” 

Ray grinned. “I have a few ideas.”

Somehow they ended up on the bed, both shirtless, and breaths heavy. Ray hooked a finger into the hem of Ryan’s jeans, before Ryan grabbed his arm lightly.

“Ray- you know I'm.. I'm a…”

“I know, Ry.” Ray leaned up to kiss Ryan's forehead. “We’ll never go further than what you want.” He smiled slightly, opting to snuggle against Ryan’s side instead.

 

“How have you been?”

Caiti’s smile radiated through the screen. “It's been a joy to be back home. Though, I do miss everyone.”

Jack nodded. “I miss you so much.”

“I know, Jack. But I'll always love you, even from across the oceans. Any word on Lindsay?”

“I think she's coming home soon. I hope, anyway. Barb hasn't been doing the best…”

Caiti sighed. “Is she staying at Geoff’s?”

Jack nodded, the two letting the silence hang thick in the air. Things have been a bit awkward since Caiti left. They could never engage in a good conversation. Not like they ever did before, but the silence was at least comfortable then. 

“I should get going. I have some school work to do. Love you.” Caiti smiled before she ended the call, leaving Jack slumped at the desk in Gavin’s room.

He'd been staying here for the past couple days. His house was too lonely and he had to keep an eye on Geoff, after all.

Jack had also been slipping. Geoff was busy with work a lot and Gavin was spending time with Michael, so Jack really didn't eat. Not that it was a bad thing. People just aren't hungry when they're sad.

Jack was fine.

 

“Listen, I’m tired of talking about it. For fucks sake I've been gone so long that those two finally decided to bang.” Lindsay smiled and giggled, pointing at Ryan and Ray. 

She had finally come home from the hospital.

And of course, the group gathered at Geoff’s for a fire and just to talk. They tried asking Lindsay about things, but she didn't really want to answer. They just talked about many different things, and enjoyed each other’s company.

“I'm sad I wasn't here to see Caiti off, but we’ve texted a couple times.” Lindsay tipped back her drink, earning worried glances from Barbara. 

“I'm happy most of our crew is back together.” Geoff raised his drink. “To friends!”

They clinked whatever they were drinking and continued on talking, Barbara staying quiet. It was strange for Lindsay to be back. After all, they spent a lot of their summer without her and even a month of school. She was happy to see Lindsay again, but it didn't seem like Lindsay wanted to talk to her.

Not that anyone noticed.

“I see you and Dan are in film class again. How's that?” Michael traced the veins on Gavin’s hand.

Gavin shrugged. “He and I haven't talked much. I don't think he likes me.”

“People are crazy for not liking you.” Michael smiled. 

Gavin chuckled, glancing over at Ryan and Ray. They were being cute, but not to a gross extreme. Geoff was talking with Griffon and Jack, Lindsay and Barbara just kind of avoiding each other. Meg was talking with both of them, but the conversations were different.

She took notice and sighed inwardly, not quite sure what was going on with them.

That night, the group slept in various places in Geoff’s house (like always). 

That night, Geoff woke up with a pounding heart and tear stained cheeks. He looked around to find the room empty, so he decided to take a walk around the house. He found Jack in the kitchen, and one look was all it took for the two to be in the yard talking at four am.

“Another bad one, huh?” 

Geoff nodded quietly. “I thought I'd be better now, you know? I have a girlfriend, my friends are all happy.” 

“That doesn't change anything.” The two turned to face Gavin, standing in the doorway. He walked over and plopped himself between them. “Just because you have a lot of things around you that should make you happy sometimes doesn't make it any easier.”

“And we’ll be here for those bad days. Even if you don't wanna talk to us.” Jack placed his hand on Geoff’s knee.

“I couldn't have better friends.” Geoff smiled slightly, pulling the two in for a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm not dead!~~  
>  I am truly sorry for my absence and I have started to write more for this. Updates will hopefully be more consistent for a while
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
